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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 185617" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Aw, shucks, MWM, I'm blushing!</p><p></p><p>Seriously - I think you've already made some really good suggestions. </p><p></p><p>I wasn't surprised by the doctor's response to the bipolar query, Leisa. And given what you've described, I see Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) more than BiPolar (BP). But then, I don't know BiPolar (BP) personally (or if I do, it's not by that label) and what you describe IS very similar to difficult child 3. Or rather, difficult child 3 as he used to be or perhaps as he still would be if we hadn't made a lot of the changes we have.</p><p></p><p>Leisa, I just posted extensively on someone else's thread titled "behaviour management". Read what I wrote - I put in far too much (I do that - sorry) but I think it should help you also.</p><p></p><p>Now to be more specific for you - I am so glad you ca access Westmead. There are some good people there, among the best in Sydney. We couldn't access it. We couldn't even get into POW with difficult child 3. Very frustrating, a lot of time-wasting.</p><p></p><p>Your son sounds like he's going through purgatory at school (I would have used a shorter 4 letter word but that word really upsets a lot of our US friends, far more than it does us Aussies). From my own experience, the social problems caused by bullying, not fitting in, frustration, etc can easily produce what you describe.</p><p></p><p>What also concerns me is the history of abuse you describe. While it wouldn't have done any of you any favours, I'm wondering if the history is distracting the health professionals so they're blaming a lot of his problems on that, and not looking further.</p><p></p><p>There was an episode of "Australian Story" last Monday about the little boy whose sister died about seven years ago in Queensland at the hands of their parents; the little girl had been hog-tied and wrapped in a blanket. This had been a fairly common occurrence for both kids with these parents, but when the little girl died, the parents were prosecuted and the boy placed with his grandmother.</p><p>The boy had a lot of problems and it took ages, and a lot of constant nagging by his grandmother, for them to investigate further. The boy was finally diagnosed as autistic. With hindsight, it's possible that the autism in the boy was causing behavioural problems in him that his parents couldn't handle, and that could have contributed to their bizarre tying up of the kids to stop them getting into mischief. Chicken and egg. In other words, if the boy hadn't been autistic, they might not have been so extreme in their methods. </p><p>Here is a link to the transcript:</p><p><a href="http://www.abc.net.au/austory/content/2007/s2332663.htm" target="_blank">http://www.abc.net.au/austory/content/2007/s2332663.htm</a></p><p></p><p>Another example - difficult child 3 has friends at a local drama class for high school kids with various learning problems. A boy in this class turned 18 a few months ago (and was in "The Black Balloon" with difficult child 3). The boy has Asperger's Syndrome. The boy's sister is 16, was in a bad car accident when she was 2 years old. She was in a coma for weeks and has been left with brain damage. They did a lot of tests on her, because they never thought she would walk, talk or feed herself ANYTHING she can do now is a bonus. She is really amazing. But she is functionally autistic.</p><p>Now, though, they are wondering if maybe she was autistic anyway - if she hadn't had the car accident she would definitely be a lot better off, but they think now that she would still have been autistic, or at least Aspie like her brother.</p><p></p><p>I'm not saying your son is autistic or Aspie. The blanket label is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (Pervasive Developmental Disorder) and I do think it needs to be at least considered thoroughly in your son's case. If you're going to Westmead, I suspect it will be. They are thorough there, I believe.</p><p></p><p>For us, what was needed to properly assess my kids was a speech pathology assessment or report (or some history of language development - that's language, rather than speech); a psychologist's THOROUGH assessment (including a full psychometric assessment, those five hour IQ test sessions); maybe a psychiatrist's assessment and/or a pediatrician. And they still didn't always give us the right answer, not right away. We've had to keep open minds and keep asking questions.</p><p></p><p>So for now, a few more references.</p><p></p><p>First, have a look at <a href="http://www.childbrain.com" target="_blank">www.childbrain.com</a> and scout around. Look for the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire. It's not a diagnostic tool, it's just something you can play with to see how it fits your son. You can print it out a(whatever the result) and take it to the doctor to see what he thinks of the idea. It also 'concentrates' all the concerns you have with his development and his behaviour, so the doctor can see the sort of things that really worry you about him.</p><p></p><p>Second, get your hands on "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Regardless of what is wrong or why, this book can help you find a more effective, easier and positive way to deal with the behaviours. It has made a HUGE difference to us. You should be able to get it in the local library (order it in if you need to, I know our local library has it and inter-library loan should get it). For a quick peek now, go to the Early Childhood forum and look for the sticky thread on the book and how to apply it to younger children. OK, your son is 12, but that thread should still give you some ideas.</p><p></p><p>A number of the things you describe (the finger tapping, the scab picking, the "life is awful and I want to die now" just because you said no to the gift shop, the aggression at school) all sound VERY familiar to me. difficult child 3 got hit on the head with a stick at school in Feb in Year 3, I remember we were on holiday in August and he STILL had a huge hole in his scalp because he'd been picking at the scab all year. And that wasn't unusual. He STILL picks - now he's getting pimples, he's even worse. The skin on his nose is constantly raw and trying to heal.</p><p>The snot on bathroom walls - for us it was worse. And brown. difficult child 1's ceiling is constantly dotted with mozzie corpses. He was keeping score and got upset with me when I made him clean it off. He was insistent that the corpses would act as a deterrent to other mozzies!</p><p>Inappropriately loud - oh, yeah. That too. </p><p></p><p>And so much more.</p><p></p><p>Check it all out, see what you think.</p><p></p><p>Do a sig for yourself when you get the chance, it makes a big difference. Also, maintain your confidentiality. Chances are high that you'll want to whinge about someone (like Dept of ED?) and you need to be confident that a Google on your name or any other familiar name won't find you on this site. Not that anyone here is likely to be a problem - for me, my concern is local Dept of Ed officials, or local teachers, finding what I'm complaining about here and using it to cause me trouble. </p><p>You may be lucky, you might have really good school or teachers in your area. But that hasn't been our experience always, and even good situations can change.</p><p></p><p>Go for the assessments and try to get a diagnosis - ANY diagnosis is better than none, even if it's wrong, because it can open doors. Special Education, support funding for school, Learning Team Support, Carer Payment/Carer Allowance, etc. I hope you're already getting Carer Payment? You need a medical specialist's report on the paperwork, plus Centrelink almost always knock you back the first few times you apply. But we qualified with both boys. Once you apply, the clock starts from that point so if you appeal and eventually you win, it gets backdated to when you applied.</p><p></p><p>Support at school is also needed, from what you describe. I could talk to you at length about this also, but it's getting late.</p><p></p><p>I'm generally here on a daily basis. You can also PM me if you like. I'm generally home because difficult child 3 is no longer attending a mainstream school. He now studies with Distance Education and is finally learning stuff. There ARE other options, but Dept of Ed doesn't like to tell you about them. At least, not in our area.</p><p>We're going to be out on Thursday - a study day at school for difficult child 3, when he goes in to Distance Ed in the city (I go too). They are fabulous with him. Kids do Distance Ed for all sorts of reasons - health, isolation, a lifestyle that interferes with school attendance (such as athletic excellence or performing arts excellence) and so on. So he mixes with kids of all types, from other autistics to Brent Street performers to 'gypsies'.</p><p></p><p>There are also special units located in a number of mainstream schools, which can give a kid a more individual program suited to his abilities and needs. Getting in requires a specialist diagnosis and sometimes some pushing (at district office level).</p><p></p><p>What year is he in? If he's not in high school yet, then there are steps you need to take NOW to ease things for him for when he does go. High school can be a brute for difficult children.</p><p></p><p>Again, welcome to the site. It made a huge difference to us, I am amazed at how our life changed for the better, thanks to these guys giving me the confidence and the understanding.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 185617, member: 1991"] Aw, shucks, MWM, I'm blushing! Seriously - I think you've already made some really good suggestions. I wasn't surprised by the doctor's response to the bipolar query, Leisa. And given what you've described, I see Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) more than BiPolar (BP). But then, I don't know BiPolar (BP) personally (or if I do, it's not by that label) and what you describe IS very similar to difficult child 3. Or rather, difficult child 3 as he used to be or perhaps as he still would be if we hadn't made a lot of the changes we have. Leisa, I just posted extensively on someone else's thread titled "behaviour management". Read what I wrote - I put in far too much (I do that - sorry) but I think it should help you also. Now to be more specific for you - I am so glad you ca access Westmead. There are some good people there, among the best in Sydney. We couldn't access it. We couldn't even get into POW with difficult child 3. Very frustrating, a lot of time-wasting. Your son sounds like he's going through purgatory at school (I would have used a shorter 4 letter word but that word really upsets a lot of our US friends, far more than it does us Aussies). From my own experience, the social problems caused by bullying, not fitting in, frustration, etc can easily produce what you describe. What also concerns me is the history of abuse you describe. While it wouldn't have done any of you any favours, I'm wondering if the history is distracting the health professionals so they're blaming a lot of his problems on that, and not looking further. There was an episode of "Australian Story" last Monday about the little boy whose sister died about seven years ago in Queensland at the hands of their parents; the little girl had been hog-tied and wrapped in a blanket. This had been a fairly common occurrence for both kids with these parents, but when the little girl died, the parents were prosecuted and the boy placed with his grandmother. The boy had a lot of problems and it took ages, and a lot of constant nagging by his grandmother, for them to investigate further. The boy was finally diagnosed as autistic. With hindsight, it's possible that the autism in the boy was causing behavioural problems in him that his parents couldn't handle, and that could have contributed to their bizarre tying up of the kids to stop them getting into mischief. Chicken and egg. In other words, if the boy hadn't been autistic, they might not have been so extreme in their methods. Here is a link to the transcript: [url]http://www.abc.net.au/austory/content/2007/s2332663.htm[/url] Another example - difficult child 3 has friends at a local drama class for high school kids with various learning problems. A boy in this class turned 18 a few months ago (and was in "The Black Balloon" with difficult child 3). The boy has Asperger's Syndrome. The boy's sister is 16, was in a bad car accident when she was 2 years old. She was in a coma for weeks and has been left with brain damage. They did a lot of tests on her, because they never thought she would walk, talk or feed herself ANYTHING she can do now is a bonus. She is really amazing. But she is functionally autistic. Now, though, they are wondering if maybe she was autistic anyway - if she hadn't had the car accident she would definitely be a lot better off, but they think now that she would still have been autistic, or at least Aspie like her brother. I'm not saying your son is autistic or Aspie. The blanket label is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (Pervasive Developmental Disorder) and I do think it needs to be at least considered thoroughly in your son's case. If you're going to Westmead, I suspect it will be. They are thorough there, I believe. For us, what was needed to properly assess my kids was a speech pathology assessment or report (or some history of language development - that's language, rather than speech); a psychologist's THOROUGH assessment (including a full psychometric assessment, those five hour IQ test sessions); maybe a psychiatrist's assessment and/or a pediatrician. And they still didn't always give us the right answer, not right away. We've had to keep open minds and keep asking questions. So for now, a few more references. First, have a look at [url]www.childbrain.com[/url] and scout around. Look for the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire. It's not a diagnostic tool, it's just something you can play with to see how it fits your son. You can print it out a(whatever the result) and take it to the doctor to see what he thinks of the idea. It also 'concentrates' all the concerns you have with his development and his behaviour, so the doctor can see the sort of things that really worry you about him. Second, get your hands on "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Regardless of what is wrong or why, this book can help you find a more effective, easier and positive way to deal with the behaviours. It has made a HUGE difference to us. You should be able to get it in the local library (order it in if you need to, I know our local library has it and inter-library loan should get it). For a quick peek now, go to the Early Childhood forum and look for the sticky thread on the book and how to apply it to younger children. OK, your son is 12, but that thread should still give you some ideas. A number of the things you describe (the finger tapping, the scab picking, the "life is awful and I want to die now" just because you said no to the gift shop, the aggression at school) all sound VERY familiar to me. difficult child 3 got hit on the head with a stick at school in Feb in Year 3, I remember we were on holiday in August and he STILL had a huge hole in his scalp because he'd been picking at the scab all year. And that wasn't unusual. He STILL picks - now he's getting pimples, he's even worse. The skin on his nose is constantly raw and trying to heal. The snot on bathroom walls - for us it was worse. And brown. difficult child 1's ceiling is constantly dotted with mozzie corpses. He was keeping score and got upset with me when I made him clean it off. He was insistent that the corpses would act as a deterrent to other mozzies! Inappropriately loud - oh, yeah. That too. And so much more. Check it all out, see what you think. Do a sig for yourself when you get the chance, it makes a big difference. Also, maintain your confidentiality. Chances are high that you'll want to whinge about someone (like Dept of ED?) and you need to be confident that a Google on your name or any other familiar name won't find you on this site. Not that anyone here is likely to be a problem - for me, my concern is local Dept of Ed officials, or local teachers, finding what I'm complaining about here and using it to cause me trouble. You may be lucky, you might have really good school or teachers in your area. But that hasn't been our experience always, and even good situations can change. Go for the assessments and try to get a diagnosis - ANY diagnosis is better than none, even if it's wrong, because it can open doors. Special Education, support funding for school, Learning Team Support, Carer Payment/Carer Allowance, etc. I hope you're already getting Carer Payment? You need a medical specialist's report on the paperwork, plus Centrelink almost always knock you back the first few times you apply. But we qualified with both boys. Once you apply, the clock starts from that point so if you appeal and eventually you win, it gets backdated to when you applied. Support at school is also needed, from what you describe. I could talk to you at length about this also, but it's getting late. I'm generally here on a daily basis. You can also PM me if you like. I'm generally home because difficult child 3 is no longer attending a mainstream school. He now studies with Distance Education and is finally learning stuff. There ARE other options, but Dept of Ed doesn't like to tell you about them. At least, not in our area. We're going to be out on Thursday - a study day at school for difficult child 3, when he goes in to Distance Ed in the city (I go too). They are fabulous with him. Kids do Distance Ed for all sorts of reasons - health, isolation, a lifestyle that interferes with school attendance (such as athletic excellence or performing arts excellence) and so on. So he mixes with kids of all types, from other autistics to Brent Street performers to 'gypsies'. There are also special units located in a number of mainstream schools, which can give a kid a more individual program suited to his abilities and needs. Getting in requires a specialist diagnosis and sometimes some pushing (at district office level). What year is he in? If he's not in high school yet, then there are steps you need to take NOW to ease things for him for when he does go. High school can be a brute for difficult children. Again, welcome to the site. It made a huge difference to us, I am amazed at how our life changed for the better, thanks to these guys giving me the confidence and the understanding. Marg [/QUOTE]
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