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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 237557" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It's a pity you had to go through this yourself, but at least it gives you good insight into your own child.</p><p></p><p>With the occasional times of extreme stress bringing a short-term relapse, would it help to carry a card? Or would it be too difficult to produce a card to explain?</p><p></p><p>Are there alternative forms of communication that can take the pressure off? Or is a certain amount of pressure needed, to provide gentle pressure to take up verbal communication again?</p><p></p><p>I hope you're writing a book (or planning to). There needs to be a great deal more understanding on this issue.</p><p></p><p>With your son scoring right on the border of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) - it really is tricky when we have a kid who seems social. I do think there is a lot more scope for better understanding of kids in this region; kids who are struggling in various ways but who don't meet any specific diagnostic criteria. That can shift with time, by the way. easy child 2/difficult child 2 as a toddler, seemed to be socially precocious, academically brilliant, an ideal candidate for acceleration into school (which we did). She did well for the first few years then seemed to hit a social brick wall. At the time she seemed to be "dumbing down" to try to be popular, because she had been getting teased for being so smart. We told her she had achoice - to be popular with the social kids (who wanted her to change to be more like them) or to choose to achieve to the best of her abilities, but risk being lonely for a while at school. But inthe long term, where would her school friends be, when she was an adult trying to hold down a job? Short-term popularity really wasn't all it wascracked up to be.</p><p>At about this time we began to notice 'oddness' to some of her behaviours, the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) tendencies were starting to become apparent. She deliberately defied her teachers several times and lay with her head on the floor during dance class instead of getting up and dancing with the others. She later tried to explain (with difficulty) that she was feeling the vibrations of the dancers' feet and trying to correlate it with the rhythm of the music. It just didn't go down too well at a final dress rehearsal!</p><p>She was always very outgoing, would walk up to a total stranger and welcome them to whatever event was on and begin to ask questions about them as if drawing them out. She was meticulous about rules being followed and also about remembering what a teacher had said. For example at music camp a teacher who didn't know her had said to the class, "Please remind me, we need to put in some time on our workbooks before the end of this session," but when later the same teacher tried to end the session without reference to the workbooks and easy child 2/difficult child 2 tried to remind her, ("Miss! You said we needed to put in some time on our workbooks, you asked us to remind you,") the teacher turned to her with a withering glare and said, "Who are you?"</p><p>Repeated incidents like this totally crushed her for days; she came home from a week of camp still in tears over this incident. I had to hear about it from her music teacher who thankfully had been there to witness it.</p><p></p><p>It is very subtle sometimes. INterestingly I think what has happend to easy child 2/difficult child 2 as she has gotten older, is that instead of adapting and blending in more to the NT people in the world, she is increasingly embracing weirdness and "letting herself go" when it comes to adaptation. "I am what I am so get used to it," seems to be her new mantra. She is still extremely sensitive and can get very shrill when she feels she's not getting a fair go. As husband says, "One day she will make someone a wonderful fishwife." What is more of a worry, is she wants to be a teacher - I really worry about how she will cope.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 237557, member: 1991"] It's a pity you had to go through this yourself, but at least it gives you good insight into your own child. With the occasional times of extreme stress bringing a short-term relapse, would it help to carry a card? Or would it be too difficult to produce a card to explain? Are there alternative forms of communication that can take the pressure off? Or is a certain amount of pressure needed, to provide gentle pressure to take up verbal communication again? I hope you're writing a book (or planning to). There needs to be a great deal more understanding on this issue. With your son scoring right on the border of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) - it really is tricky when we have a kid who seems social. I do think there is a lot more scope for better understanding of kids in this region; kids who are struggling in various ways but who don't meet any specific diagnostic criteria. That can shift with time, by the way. easy child 2/difficult child 2 as a toddler, seemed to be socially precocious, academically brilliant, an ideal candidate for acceleration into school (which we did). She did well for the first few years then seemed to hit a social brick wall. At the time she seemed to be "dumbing down" to try to be popular, because she had been getting teased for being so smart. We told her she had achoice - to be popular with the social kids (who wanted her to change to be more like them) or to choose to achieve to the best of her abilities, but risk being lonely for a while at school. But inthe long term, where would her school friends be, when she was an adult trying to hold down a job? Short-term popularity really wasn't all it wascracked up to be. At about this time we began to notice 'oddness' to some of her behaviours, the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) tendencies were starting to become apparent. She deliberately defied her teachers several times and lay with her head on the floor during dance class instead of getting up and dancing with the others. She later tried to explain (with difficulty) that she was feeling the vibrations of the dancers' feet and trying to correlate it with the rhythm of the music. It just didn't go down too well at a final dress rehearsal! She was always very outgoing, would walk up to a total stranger and welcome them to whatever event was on and begin to ask questions about them as if drawing them out. She was meticulous about rules being followed and also about remembering what a teacher had said. For example at music camp a teacher who didn't know her had said to the class, "Please remind me, we need to put in some time on our workbooks before the end of this session," but when later the same teacher tried to end the session without reference to the workbooks and easy child 2/difficult child 2 tried to remind her, ("Miss! You said we needed to put in some time on our workbooks, you asked us to remind you,") the teacher turned to her with a withering glare and said, "Who are you?" Repeated incidents like this totally crushed her for days; she came home from a week of camp still in tears over this incident. I had to hear about it from her music teacher who thankfully had been there to witness it. It is very subtle sometimes. INterestingly I think what has happend to easy child 2/difficult child 2 as she has gotten older, is that instead of adapting and blending in more to the NT people in the world, she is increasingly embracing weirdness and "letting herself go" when it comes to adaptation. "I am what I am so get used to it," seems to be her new mantra. She is still extremely sensitive and can get very shrill when she feels she's not getting a fair go. As husband says, "One day she will make someone a wonderful fishwife." What is more of a worry, is she wants to be a teacher - I really worry about how she will cope. Marg [/QUOTE]
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