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<blockquote data-quote="WannabeAgoodFather" data-source="post: 708359" data-attributes="member: 21165"><p>Well... It's been a while since I posted my last one.. Nothing... Absolutely NOTHING has changed in my house. Mother has been constantly giving stepson to enroll in any program that is positive like "X-Ray Technician" "EMT" "Paramedic" "Fireman" whatever doesn't even require a Bachelor's degree. I guess school is not going to happen for him and gave up. What waste of money for 2 years and she is working hard to pay for it. It's a shame. (Negative on Investment) She is even pushing her son to start with a "CPR" class certification that I have heard for 6 years.. CPR class takes only few hours according to her... He could be a lifeguard at local facility for gods sake with it... I only said one thing to the mother.. "You know any of those you mentioned that you wanted your son to do requires drug test and he has to be clean" and she says she is totally aware of it all and her son has to come clean. It is easier to be said than done. Whatever it takes, he will not give up on his habit as he claims it is legal and just weed. At this moment, I do not even know he just simply smokes weed or moved onto something else. He doesn't seem to drink alcohol but I sense that he does more than just smoking and dabbing. He doesn't come home until midnight most of days and who knows what he is up to? He has been very lucky that he has not gotten into trouble with the law yet. Cross my finger as if that happens, mother will snap...</p><p></p><p>He has no desire to do any of mother's suggestions. Why would he? He makes enough money to keep his habits, no real stress and has a home to live in without paying a cent. The only stress he has is he has to listen to his mother. He still has no drive to move forward in his life. Everything requires effort is just hassle for him. Whatever requires that he would have to put efforts, he doesn't want to do. A simple smoking marijuana has done this to a promising young boy who became an impossible 22 year old with no direction. He's been saying he would go back to school but we know he would have done so if he really thought he needed education in his resume.</p><p>I have seen lots of people around me dropped out but came back. The critical timeline is 1-2 year. If you pass 2 years without going to school, then you get very comfortable, do not have stress to go to class and take exams and stay out of school for good. I do not have the right stats but that is what I have observed with my friends and the ones near me. You start to drift and get to the place that it becomes too far once you realize you want to head back. He's been out of school for 2 years now where his friends and cousins at the same age growing up together now graduating. Mother mentioned this fact to him but there is no response. All he would say is "Of course I want to go back to school, get a job and make lots of money" but no action taken.</p><p></p><p>I am so over this issue where I have other 2 children that are pursuing their roads in right way. Oldest one going into graduate school and youngest one going in to college. Both are waiting for acceptance letters from schools where safety school's acceptance letters are in already. I think the youngest one, who has seen this saga through the years is dying to get out of the house and probably will not return just like the oldest. Financial burden for these kids' education has become my first worry now. Well known private institutions tuition and fees are up to $75K a year. I am still paying for my oldest daughter's undergrad... A big burden for me to support 2 kids where they can't get any financial aid due to my tax bracket. All the savings have gone to education and I do not regret putting myself into the situation. I can't even worry about my retirement as I will probably have to work until the day I die to pay kids' tuitions... As a father, I would like to pay for their education at least... Same as my folks did for me. </p><p></p><p>On Sunday morning at 3 AM, his room was open with lights on so I had mother to go check it out. She screamed and went on her ranting for few minutes.. I do not know what happened. She stopped telling me a while ago as I showed no interest getting involved with him in any way. I remained silent as I had nothing to say about anything. Again, I do not want to get involved anymore with this issue as it consumes me, not healthy and it doesn't get anywhere anyway. I have not spoken to him for months as I promised myself not to do so in this mess. Mother constantly reminds him that she gave him the World of chances (True) but he proved nothing. It is a same ol' things going on between the two without any solution or improvement. Mother says he would have to move out but he knows she is just saying it. Lies lies lies and endless empty promises continue. Everything is going in parallels where there is no interaction. I am numb to this as I do not have anything to give. My efforts have been nothing but waste of time and I refuse to do it anymore unless there is some sort of response. I will NOT waste any more time on this. This morning when I was taking a shower to prepare myself to come to work, something must have happened again... Mother said she failed her job as a mother. She was having an anxiety attack through the morning and I asked her if she wanted to talk about it. She said she didn't as it would make her cry... I said it is always better that she lets things out when needed... She did not want to do it as she knows how I would react to this issue for sure. I have been nothing but very firm, consistent and logical.</p><p></p><p>Certainly our house doesn't contain any good vibes... I try my best to be a good husband. That is all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WannabeAgoodFather, post: 708359, member: 21165"] Well... It's been a while since I posted my last one.. Nothing... Absolutely NOTHING has changed in my house. Mother has been constantly giving stepson to enroll in any program that is positive like "X-Ray Technician" "EMT" "Paramedic" "Fireman" whatever doesn't even require a Bachelor's degree. I guess school is not going to happen for him and gave up. What waste of money for 2 years and she is working hard to pay for it. It's a shame. (Negative on Investment) She is even pushing her son to start with a "CPR" class certification that I have heard for 6 years.. CPR class takes only few hours according to her... He could be a lifeguard at local facility for gods sake with it... I only said one thing to the mother.. "You know any of those you mentioned that you wanted your son to do requires drug test and he has to be clean" and she says she is totally aware of it all and her son has to come clean. It is easier to be said than done. Whatever it takes, he will not give up on his habit as he claims it is legal and just weed. At this moment, I do not even know he just simply smokes weed or moved onto something else. He doesn't seem to drink alcohol but I sense that he does more than just smoking and dabbing. He doesn't come home until midnight most of days and who knows what he is up to? He has been very lucky that he has not gotten into trouble with the law yet. Cross my finger as if that happens, mother will snap... He has no desire to do any of mother's suggestions. Why would he? He makes enough money to keep his habits, no real stress and has a home to live in without paying a cent. The only stress he has is he has to listen to his mother. He still has no drive to move forward in his life. Everything requires effort is just hassle for him. Whatever requires that he would have to put efforts, he doesn't want to do. A simple smoking marijuana has done this to a promising young boy who became an impossible 22 year old with no direction. He's been saying he would go back to school but we know he would have done so if he really thought he needed education in his resume. I have seen lots of people around me dropped out but came back. The critical timeline is 1-2 year. If you pass 2 years without going to school, then you get very comfortable, do not have stress to go to class and take exams and stay out of school for good. I do not have the right stats but that is what I have observed with my friends and the ones near me. You start to drift and get to the place that it becomes too far once you realize you want to head back. He's been out of school for 2 years now where his friends and cousins at the same age growing up together now graduating. Mother mentioned this fact to him but there is no response. All he would say is "Of course I want to go back to school, get a job and make lots of money" but no action taken. I am so over this issue where I have other 2 children that are pursuing their roads in right way. Oldest one going into graduate school and youngest one going in to college. Both are waiting for acceptance letters from schools where safety school's acceptance letters are in already. I think the youngest one, who has seen this saga through the years is dying to get out of the house and probably will not return just like the oldest. Financial burden for these kids' education has become my first worry now. Well known private institutions tuition and fees are up to $75K a year. I am still paying for my oldest daughter's undergrad... A big burden for me to support 2 kids where they can't get any financial aid due to my tax bracket. All the savings have gone to education and I do not regret putting myself into the situation. I can't even worry about my retirement as I will probably have to work until the day I die to pay kids' tuitions... As a father, I would like to pay for their education at least... Same as my folks did for me. On Sunday morning at 3 AM, his room was open with lights on so I had mother to go check it out. She screamed and went on her ranting for few minutes.. I do not know what happened. She stopped telling me a while ago as I showed no interest getting involved with him in any way. I remained silent as I had nothing to say about anything. Again, I do not want to get involved anymore with this issue as it consumes me, not healthy and it doesn't get anywhere anyway. I have not spoken to him for months as I promised myself not to do so in this mess. Mother constantly reminds him that she gave him the World of chances (True) but he proved nothing. It is a same ol' things going on between the two without any solution or improvement. Mother says he would have to move out but he knows she is just saying it. Lies lies lies and endless empty promises continue. Everything is going in parallels where there is no interaction. I am numb to this as I do not have anything to give. My efforts have been nothing but waste of time and I refuse to do it anymore unless there is some sort of response. I will NOT waste any more time on this. This morning when I was taking a shower to prepare myself to come to work, something must have happened again... Mother said she failed her job as a mother. She was having an anxiety attack through the morning and I asked her if she wanted to talk about it. She said she didn't as it would make her cry... I said it is always better that she lets things out when needed... She did not want to do it as she knows how I would react to this issue for sure. I have been nothing but very firm, consistent and logical. Certainly our house doesn't contain any good vibes... I try my best to be a good husband. That is all. [/QUOTE]
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