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General Parenting
newcomer dec 2011
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 498381" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Hi Mary. Found you.</p><p></p><p>I'm also from Sydney.</p><p></p><p>The link Allan posted is a good one, he was a few steps ahead of me. Basically, with a lot of these kids the discipline methods can be a factor. That doesn't mean you're a bad parent, only that what you are trying to do is not working for that child. Your parenting methods might work fine for any other kid, but one like ours - awful! Try to get "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene out of your local library. Put in a request for it if you need to. In the meantime, look for it on this site and read up on it. The book has helped us a great deal. The most important lesson - these kids often do not learn by usual discipline - instead, they learn by observing other's behaviours. So how you treat your child becomes how your child treats you. If you do the "Do it NOW!" routine with a child like this, they will also expect instant compliance from you and shout at you when you fail to meet their demands. </p><p></p><p>There are options for you, but he does need a neuropsychologist assessment at some stage. Depending on what part of Sydney you're in, there are public hospital clinics which can help here, but the waiting list is long. </p><p></p><p>If you're in the population centre of Sydney, Westmead is worth a try. East - POW. Central/inner city (or prepared to travel there) - Sydney Uni has Brain & Mind (or Headspace), worth a try. He may be too young for Headspace, but they can advise you. You would need to make enquiries, find out which clinic can help assess ADHD and other possible co-morbid conditions (ie he may have more than one problem) and then get a referral from the GP. You may need to do this with a Mental Health Management Plan, and Medicare has cut back on the benefits you can get with these. However, any bulk-billed help is better than none.</p><p></p><p>Things should begin picking up this week after the holiday period, so you should be able to get some useful answers on Monday.</p><p></p><p>Some pediatricians are brilliant with this, some are awful. Some have a revolving door approach to diagnosis, so every kid they see leaves with the same label. Your aim is to get the correct label and then the most appropriate management. Down our way I've crossed paths with good ones and bad ones. A lot of them also have rooms in the inner city, so if you can trek in to the city, you can see whoever. But the hospital system - it tends to push you into Community Health, and that can be too little and far too late. Also worth a try though, especially for someone so young. Community Health being free, it tends to be overstretched. But sometimes you van be lucky, and if a case is considered urgent enough, you can get fast-tracked. </p><p></p><p>If you can, get your husband to lurk here or post here. My husband & I were already communicating well, we thought, but when he read my posts here he said it seemed to condense the information and it helped him really understand what was concerning me. We talked more effectively and are even more of a team now.</p><p></p><p>I'm generally around more, I've just been a bit tied down lately with a few other issues. I'll try to stay in touch with you and this thread.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime - read up on "Explosive Child". I'm betting it will ring your bells. I just wish I got commission on it!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 498381, member: 1991"] Hi Mary. Found you. I'm also from Sydney. The link Allan posted is a good one, he was a few steps ahead of me. Basically, with a lot of these kids the discipline methods can be a factor. That doesn't mean you're a bad parent, only that what you are trying to do is not working for that child. Your parenting methods might work fine for any other kid, but one like ours - awful! Try to get "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene out of your local library. Put in a request for it if you need to. In the meantime, look for it on this site and read up on it. The book has helped us a great deal. The most important lesson - these kids often do not learn by usual discipline - instead, they learn by observing other's behaviours. So how you treat your child becomes how your child treats you. If you do the "Do it NOW!" routine with a child like this, they will also expect instant compliance from you and shout at you when you fail to meet their demands. There are options for you, but he does need a neuropsychologist assessment at some stage. Depending on what part of Sydney you're in, there are public hospital clinics which can help here, but the waiting list is long. If you're in the population centre of Sydney, Westmead is worth a try. East - POW. Central/inner city (or prepared to travel there) - Sydney Uni has Brain & Mind (or Headspace), worth a try. He may be too young for Headspace, but they can advise you. You would need to make enquiries, find out which clinic can help assess ADHD and other possible co-morbid conditions (ie he may have more than one problem) and then get a referral from the GP. You may need to do this with a Mental Health Management Plan, and Medicare has cut back on the benefits you can get with these. However, any bulk-billed help is better than none. Things should begin picking up this week after the holiday period, so you should be able to get some useful answers on Monday. Some pediatricians are brilliant with this, some are awful. Some have a revolving door approach to diagnosis, so every kid they see leaves with the same label. Your aim is to get the correct label and then the most appropriate management. Down our way I've crossed paths with good ones and bad ones. A lot of them also have rooms in the inner city, so if you can trek in to the city, you can see whoever. But the hospital system - it tends to push you into Community Health, and that can be too little and far too late. Also worth a try though, especially for someone so young. Community Health being free, it tends to be overstretched. But sometimes you van be lucky, and if a case is considered urgent enough, you can get fast-tracked. If you can, get your husband to lurk here or post here. My husband & I were already communicating well, we thought, but when he read my posts here he said it seemed to condense the information and it helped him really understand what was concerning me. We talked more effectively and are even more of a team now. I'm generally around more, I've just been a bit tied down lately with a few other issues. I'll try to stay in touch with you and this thread. In the meantime - read up on "Explosive Child". I'm betting it will ring your bells. I just wish I got commission on it! Marg [/QUOTE]
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