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No, Chaosuncontained, I'M a monster...
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 481732" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>wow Methuselah, they do sound to me like they could be full blown RADishes I am not a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) expert, but certainly have had to learn due to our attachment issues. especially difficult child 1. I am so sorry. The following is not saying you should look into this. I can hear what you are saying, it is beyond this stage for them... Just sharing info. (boy does the social service system need to be better equipt to help these kids and to screen which ones need specialized therapy and living situations...I was being pushed to adopt twins with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), fire setting in Kindergarten... I declined when they wouldn't include therapy in the adoption agreement...stating, oh you are so capable, once they are in a loving home the problems will disappear)</p><p></p><p>There are so many professionals who say they can work with attachment, and they maybe think they can. I have gone for intakes and never returned from several. I wont waste my time. I have been warned that it is not only a waste of time to use these people, but they can do harm becasue they get sucked into the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) child's manipulations and reinforce them. They get lots of attention for their drama. Well, that must really hurt your feelngs, we will have to talk to mom about that...we can negotiate a contract for that, blah blah. I think they are not really working with true Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids if they can help with play therapy etc. These kids need docs who know they are cunning, sweet at first, wont show their colors until alone with the primary caregivers. If the kids are less full blown Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) they still need a specialist who only works using methods that help to connect the parent and child in some way. I was told to never let them do attachment therapy alone, always with the parent there so there is no triangulation. </p><p></p><p>An attachment center in DeepHaven MN (I haven't gone but have consulted with one of the directors over the years, he was on a single parent adoption site I belonged to and found out we lived near each other) has intensive day treatment for kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) starting at a very young age. Really far from me. but they also are experts in working with kids who have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and other diagnosis along wtih Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) so I have consulted with them over the years. THey said if we went there, they would not even take my child to the rest room. Everything is designed around teaching the child who their primary caregiver is. I am just sharing for any others here who think they may have these issues early on.... There is hope for many kids, we did find some therapists who were great with us and we still use the methods. Lots of what I do comes from adoption books that discuss attachment. I have not done the holding types of things and they have fallen out of favor anyway. </p><p></p><p>Deephaven uses a specialized kind of social stories along with very regimented methods of therapy, research based and successful. But they do not cover up the fact that many kids are just very damaged for life. But there is hope. Many can gain enough coping skills to have a productive life, if not one with close attachments. </p><p></p><p>It has been hard to find therapists close to me. These guys are too far for us to have used them, sadly. I think it was a missed opportunity. </p><p></p><p>But if anyone is looking for info so they dont waste their time on folks who really dont get it, they are a good start for ideas to look for. Same is true on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) websites. </p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.familyattachment.com/" target="_blank">Family Attachment and Counseling Center</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 481732, member: 12886"] wow Methuselah, they do sound to me like they could be full blown RADishes I am not a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) expert, but certainly have had to learn due to our attachment issues. especially difficult child 1. I am so sorry. The following is not saying you should look into this. I can hear what you are saying, it is beyond this stage for them... Just sharing info. (boy does the social service system need to be better equipt to help these kids and to screen which ones need specialized therapy and living situations...I was being pushed to adopt twins with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), fire setting in Kindergarten... I declined when they wouldn't include therapy in the adoption agreement...stating, oh you are so capable, once they are in a loving home the problems will disappear) There are so many professionals who say they can work with attachment, and they maybe think they can. I have gone for intakes and never returned from several. I wont waste my time. I have been warned that it is not only a waste of time to use these people, but they can do harm becasue they get sucked into the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) child's manipulations and reinforce them. They get lots of attention for their drama. Well, that must really hurt your feelngs, we will have to talk to mom about that...we can negotiate a contract for that, blah blah. I think they are not really working with true Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids if they can help with play therapy etc. These kids need docs who know they are cunning, sweet at first, wont show their colors until alone with the primary caregivers. If the kids are less full blown Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) they still need a specialist who only works using methods that help to connect the parent and child in some way. I was told to never let them do attachment therapy alone, always with the parent there so there is no triangulation. An attachment center in DeepHaven MN (I haven't gone but have consulted with one of the directors over the years, he was on a single parent adoption site I belonged to and found out we lived near each other) has intensive day treatment for kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) starting at a very young age. Really far from me. but they also are experts in working with kids who have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and other diagnosis along wtih Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) so I have consulted with them over the years. THey said if we went there, they would not even take my child to the rest room. Everything is designed around teaching the child who their primary caregiver is. I am just sharing for any others here who think they may have these issues early on.... There is hope for many kids, we did find some therapists who were great with us and we still use the methods. Lots of what I do comes from adoption books that discuss attachment. I have not done the holding types of things and they have fallen out of favor anyway. Deephaven uses a specialized kind of social stories along with very regimented methods of therapy, research based and successful. But they do not cover up the fact that many kids are just very damaged for life. But there is hope. Many can gain enough coping skills to have a productive life, if not one with close attachments. It has been hard to find therapists close to me. These guys are too far for us to have used them, sadly. I think it was a missed opportunity. But if anyone is looking for info so they dont waste their time on folks who really dont get it, they are a good start for ideas to look for. Same is true on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) websites. [url=http://www.familyattachment.com/]Family Attachment and Counseling Center[/url] [/QUOTE]
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