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<blockquote data-quote="theotherwhistler" data-source="post: 760401" data-attributes="member: 27440"><p>Considering No Contact. I am new here. I would appreciate any support and/or suggestions. My daughter has been up and down for all of her adult life. She's 53 now and has been self supporting finally for about 3 years. For much of her adult life, she lived with me. She has been a meth user and an alcoholic, but is clean now for about 7 years, I think it is. Just trying to give a flavor of this...it's been really painful for a long time. </p><p>I am now 81 and beginning to really have difficulties just getting around. </p><p>We now live in the same town. She has been helpful with rides during the pandemic. ( I don't drive anymore) For the most part things have been livable for the past year. </p><p>I think she is beginning a manic phase now...I've seen it so many times. She is not sleeping enough, is irritable, is drinking a lot of black coffee ( in the past it was tons of energy drinks). And she has a cockeyed plan to marry a man in Morocco who is 29 to her 53. She is extremely beautiful, for sure, and very intelligent, so it's not out of the question that he is sincere. In photos, she could pass for his age if not younger. I think they video call a lot.</p><p>But come on! that is a big thing...to go to Morocco, get married to someone that much younger, who is from a totally different culture. </p><p>Anyway, I have tried hard not to say much about it, but last week, I did ask what about children? Surely he wants children and you can't have anymore. She said she had told him that but he is being unrealistic about it. I asked what that meant and said I thought it might be a red flag.</p><p>She blew. It was trauma being around me. I never was encouraging. I always tried to ruin things for her and so on. I tried to say of course, no, I'm not trying to hurt you. </p><p>She slammed out, loudly so all my neighbors in next door apartments could hear. Parting shots about how abusive I am and always have been.</p><p>So this is not the first time, but this time, I was really devastated. Shaking, in tears. </p><p></p><p>Usually I would call her and after a few days it would be as if nothing happened. But this time I haven't called.</p><p></p><p>It's been several days now. I have made an appointment with a therapist and I'm going to really be thinking about this rather than just returning to the old patterns.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="theotherwhistler, post: 760401, member: 27440"] Considering No Contact. I am new here. I would appreciate any support and/or suggestions. My daughter has been up and down for all of her adult life. She's 53 now and has been self supporting finally for about 3 years. For much of her adult life, she lived with me. She has been a meth user and an alcoholic, but is clean now for about 7 years, I think it is. Just trying to give a flavor of this...it's been really painful for a long time. I am now 81 and beginning to really have difficulties just getting around. We now live in the same town. She has been helpful with rides during the pandemic. ( I don't drive anymore) For the most part things have been livable for the past year. I think she is beginning a manic phase now...I've seen it so many times. She is not sleeping enough, is irritable, is drinking a lot of black coffee ( in the past it was tons of energy drinks). And she has a cockeyed plan to marry a man in Morocco who is 29 to her 53. She is extremely beautiful, for sure, and very intelligent, so it's not out of the question that he is sincere. In photos, she could pass for his age if not younger. I think they video call a lot. But come on! that is a big thing...to go to Morocco, get married to someone that much younger, who is from a totally different culture. Anyway, I have tried hard not to say much about it, but last week, I did ask what about children? Surely he wants children and you can't have anymore. She said she had told him that but he is being unrealistic about it. I asked what that meant and said I thought it might be a red flag. She blew. It was trauma being around me. I never was encouraging. I always tried to ruin things for her and so on. I tried to say of course, no, I'm not trying to hurt you. She slammed out, loudly so all my neighbors in next door apartments could hear. Parting shots about how abusive I am and always have been. So this is not the first time, but this time, I was really devastated. Shaking, in tears. Usually I would call her and after a few days it would be as if nothing happened. But this time I haven't called. It's been several days now. I have made an appointment with a therapist and I'm going to really be thinking about this rather than just returning to the old patterns. [/QUOTE]
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