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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 342388" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I probably would go ahead and plan a sleepover and make him miserable. To show him that MOM can make those choices too. problem not the whole sleepover, but enough to make a point. That not only can mom make him miserable - she can embarrass the living daylights out of him too.</p><p></p><p>That was one thing Wiz learned early. I could and would embarrass him in public (public that included his friends) if he embarrassed me in public (including if we had people over to the house). All 3 of my kids are very aware of this and are fairly well behaved in public. At one time difficult child thought he would "top" my embarrassing him by returning the favor bigger each time.</p><p></p><p>Took 3 rounds. He caved because he realized I was NOT going to give up. Ever. Not to a kid with NO life experience. Maybe it is because I was a bit of a difficult child as a kid, but I did not see any benefit in letting him think he had the upper hand.</p><p></p><p>I wish I knew why they would decide to make us miserable. It is so silly. We would make them so much happier if they decided to behave. What do you do when he does this? How could you behave differently? What is he trying to get when he makes you miserable?</p><p></p><p>What does he say when asked why he wants to make Mom miserable? Terry, your difficult child seems really invested in making you as miserable as is humanly possible. This seems to come up frequently as the theme behind many of his actions. Is he mad at his birth mom or at you for taking him away from his birth mom? Or is it some other type of problem? I have no experience with adoption issues, but it seems this might be one. Whatever it is, maybe a therapist could help you at least learn why.</p><p></p><p>Maybe it is a sign of some attachment disorder, pushing you away so you cannot reject him? I am just throwing out ideas because it seems to me this could get really scary as he gets older, esp when combined with his other behaviors.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry.</p><p></p><p>Kudos to husband though! He really followed through with difficult child! It was hard for him, I am sure, but he did it anyway! THAT alone was a nice Vday gift, in my opinion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 342388, member: 1233"] I probably would go ahead and plan a sleepover and make him miserable. To show him that MOM can make those choices too. problem not the whole sleepover, but enough to make a point. That not only can mom make him miserable - she can embarrass the living daylights out of him too. That was one thing Wiz learned early. I could and would embarrass him in public (public that included his friends) if he embarrassed me in public (including if we had people over to the house). All 3 of my kids are very aware of this and are fairly well behaved in public. At one time difficult child thought he would "top" my embarrassing him by returning the favor bigger each time. Took 3 rounds. He caved because he realized I was NOT going to give up. Ever. Not to a kid with NO life experience. Maybe it is because I was a bit of a difficult child as a kid, but I did not see any benefit in letting him think he had the upper hand. I wish I knew why they would decide to make us miserable. It is so silly. We would make them so much happier if they decided to behave. What do you do when he does this? How could you behave differently? What is he trying to get when he makes you miserable? What does he say when asked why he wants to make Mom miserable? Terry, your difficult child seems really invested in making you as miserable as is humanly possible. This seems to come up frequently as the theme behind many of his actions. Is he mad at his birth mom or at you for taking him away from his birth mom? Or is it some other type of problem? I have no experience with adoption issues, but it seems this might be one. Whatever it is, maybe a therapist could help you at least learn why. Maybe it is a sign of some attachment disorder, pushing you away so you cannot reject him? I am just throwing out ideas because it seems to me this could get really scary as he gets older, esp when combined with his other behaviors. I am so sorry. Kudos to husband though! He really followed through with difficult child! It was hard for him, I am sure, but he did it anyway! THAT alone was a nice Vday gift, in my opinion. [/QUOTE]
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