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No Wonder Some of The Kids Behaved Atrociously!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 608349" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I partly believe that parents reactions are due the longevity and seriousness of consequences nowadays. </p><p></p><p>I have read quite a few biographies of people who had achieved a lot. Many have been in trouble or two, when young. When caught, there has been consequences, often harsh, often corporal punishment. But when it has been over, it has been over. No permanent records that have haunted and caused obstacles to them five or ten or 25 years from the deed. There has been clean slate and forgetting the misdeeds. Even when asked recommendations, it has been in consideration of person giving the recommendation, if and how to mention the misdeed. </p><p></p><p>Now with our digital world, there is not forgetting, not getting over it. There are records following us till eternity. And more and more our life is determined with those records, and those records go father back. We have some American friends and not that long ago we talked about their kids and school. How their future college and level of it can be decided by the math course they took when they are twelve. And how colleges want disciplinary records from earlier and earlier on. For me it is easy to see, that parents would like to shelter their kids future being decided by mistakes they make, when they haven't even hit the puberty yet. And when parents take those actions and safe their kid from consequences, kids of course learn a very wrong lesson.</p><p></p><p>We tend to have much stricter publicity laws and more protection for personal information than you in North America. And much less negative records anyway (heck, we don't even get criminal record if not sentenced to prison sentence. And if we get ourselves sentenced to prison, depending the length of the sentence, we only have to stay out of trouble five or ten years to criminal record to be erased. Only first degree murder and treason lead to permanent criminal record.) So we have more leeway to let our kids have their consequences without having to fear so much it will haunt them when they grow up. That leads to much less need to interfere. </p><p></p><p>But of course digital world and internet has changed the game to us too. Google doesn't forget. For examjple my son's situation. He did something wrong. Had his consequences, quite severe in many ways, but has no official record of any wrongdoing. In old times, people involved would have remembered what he did and it would had been up to my son to make it right with them and in the end, whole incident would had likely be almost forgotten after enough years. But nowadays, because it is on the internet, it will be there for ever. People, who have actually nothing to do with the whole thing, don't know my son or any of the other persons involved, know about it, are reminded about it because message boards etc. And it stays there forever. difficult child can pack other stuff on it and hide it deeper and deeper in those Google searches, but it will never go away from the eyes of people not in anyway involved.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 608349, member: 14557"] I partly believe that parents reactions are due the longevity and seriousness of consequences nowadays. I have read quite a few biographies of people who had achieved a lot. Many have been in trouble or two, when young. When caught, there has been consequences, often harsh, often corporal punishment. But when it has been over, it has been over. No permanent records that have haunted and caused obstacles to them five or ten or 25 years from the deed. There has been clean slate and forgetting the misdeeds. Even when asked recommendations, it has been in consideration of person giving the recommendation, if and how to mention the misdeed. Now with our digital world, there is not forgetting, not getting over it. There are records following us till eternity. And more and more our life is determined with those records, and those records go father back. We have some American friends and not that long ago we talked about their kids and school. How their future college and level of it can be decided by the math course they took when they are twelve. And how colleges want disciplinary records from earlier and earlier on. For me it is easy to see, that parents would like to shelter their kids future being decided by mistakes they make, when they haven't even hit the puberty yet. And when parents take those actions and safe their kid from consequences, kids of course learn a very wrong lesson. We tend to have much stricter publicity laws and more protection for personal information than you in North America. And much less negative records anyway (heck, we don't even get criminal record if not sentenced to prison sentence. And if we get ourselves sentenced to prison, depending the length of the sentence, we only have to stay out of trouble five or ten years to criminal record to be erased. Only first degree murder and treason lead to permanent criminal record.) So we have more leeway to let our kids have their consequences without having to fear so much it will haunt them when they grow up. That leads to much less need to interfere. But of course digital world and internet has changed the game to us too. Google doesn't forget. For examjple my son's situation. He did something wrong. Had his consequences, quite severe in many ways, but has no official record of any wrongdoing. In old times, people involved would have remembered what he did and it would had been up to my son to make it right with them and in the end, whole incident would had likely be almost forgotten after enough years. But nowadays, because it is on the internet, it will be there for ever. People, who have actually nothing to do with the whole thing, don't know my son or any of the other persons involved, know about it, are reminded about it because message boards etc. And it stays there forever. difficult child can pack other stuff on it and hide it deeper and deeper in those Google searches, but it will never go away from the eyes of people not in anyway involved. [/QUOTE]
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