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General Parenting
Not Hard To See The Vacation Is Over
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 536704" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Poor chap. I know that seems to be looking at things through the wrong end of the telescope, but really as I read your post, that is what I felt. His skills are so lagging, as Ross Greene would say... feels overwhelming jealousy for the perfect kid brother, probably shame and low self-esteem towards himself, can't handle it or deal with it in any other way than lashing out and making everyone's life a misery including his own. Of course you feel angry with him... I would too. But really he is very inadequate in some way and covering it all up with bluster.</p><p>What happens if you talk to him respectfully, when he is calm, about this behaviour? Is he at all open to seeing it as it is, or does he just get defensive? Sad thing is he is getting negative attention this way which to him is better than no attention.</p><p>When did it all start going wrong?? Has he always been this way?</p><p>Wish I had magic solutions... I don't of course. But I do feel sorry for him from the outside - a luxury I completely understand you cannot afford.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 536704, member: 11227"] Poor chap. I know that seems to be looking at things through the wrong end of the telescope, but really as I read your post, that is what I felt. His skills are so lagging, as Ross Greene would say... feels overwhelming jealousy for the perfect kid brother, probably shame and low self-esteem towards himself, can't handle it or deal with it in any other way than lashing out and making everyone's life a misery including his own. Of course you feel angry with him... I would too. But really he is very inadequate in some way and covering it all up with bluster. What happens if you talk to him respectfully, when he is calm, about this behaviour? Is he at all open to seeing it as it is, or does he just get defensive? Sad thing is he is getting negative attention this way which to him is better than no attention. When did it all start going wrong?? Has he always been this way? Wish I had magic solutions... I don't of course. But I do feel sorry for him from the outside - a luxury I completely understand you cannot afford. [/QUOTE]
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