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Parent Emeritus
Not helping to help our difficult children
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 175334" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Perhaps we all need help with Stands by not helping her all of the time. I'm not being mean or trying to pick on her. I am <em>still</em> trying to help her. I believe that the post was locked because I asked that it be locked because it had gotten off topic and back on to the same old ones that we always get onto in Stands' posts.</p><p></p><p>The similarity of how we interact with her, when it doesn't help or may be keeping her from something or someplace else that <em>will</em> help, as compared to how she interacts with her son had not occurred to me until I read your post. </p><p></p><p>In reality, we give individual advice directed to individuals every day on the board. I know that Stands' situation seems to stick out more than anyone else's. If she posts, you can guarantee that she will get 600 or a thousand hits on her thread. There's no one else who gets as much advice, attention, and help as she does. </p><p></p><p>I believe it is the best example we can all relate to as to how "helping" can hurt by keeping someone from the cure. I also believe that after a year of going through the same cycles with her, it wouldn't be a bad thing if she was more actively seeking help from other resources. We clearly are not helping her. Not that she shouldn't post here, I'm not saying that. But that she needs something more than we have been offering to her this last year.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 175334, member: 99"] Perhaps we all need help with Stands by not helping her all of the time. I'm not being mean or trying to pick on her. I am [I]still[/I] trying to help her. I believe that the post was locked because I asked that it be locked because it had gotten off topic and back on to the same old ones that we always get onto in Stands' posts. The similarity of how we interact with her, when it doesn't help or may be keeping her from something or someplace else that [I]will[/I] help, as compared to how she interacts with her son had not occurred to me until I read your post. In reality, we give individual advice directed to individuals every day on the board. I know that Stands' situation seems to stick out more than anyone else's. If she posts, you can guarantee that she will get 600 or a thousand hits on her thread. There's no one else who gets as much advice, attention, and help as she does. I believe it is the best example we can all relate to as to how "helping" can hurt by keeping someone from the cure. I also believe that after a year of going through the same cycles with her, it wouldn't be a bad thing if she was more actively seeking help from other resources. We clearly are not helping her. Not that she shouldn't post here, I'm not saying that. But that she needs something more than we have been offering to her this last year. [/QUOTE]
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Not helping to help our difficult children
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