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Parent Emeritus
Not helping to help our difficult children
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 175370" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Witz</p><p> </p><p>I think Steely is right that this post can help alot of other members, especially many who read but don't post.</p><p> </p><p>I've learned alot from posts of addiction, even though I knew alot before from my own experiences. Codependency can be awfully complicated. </p><p> </p><p> I find myself backing off more and more in doing things for my kids that they are capable of learning and doing for themselves. But sometimes that fine line of helping vs enabling isn't always so clear, at least to the person involved. </p><p> </p><p>When I'm unsure I try to think what my grandmother would've done. She had tough love down to an art form. But not everyone has someone like that to draw from.</p><p> </p><p>I adore my mother in law. But she enabled the heck out of husband for 40 some years until I put a stop to it. I'm still living with the reprocussions from that. And I'm determined my kids won't wind up the same way. mother in law's reason to me was to prevent my kids from suffering for his actions. A good reason from her stand point, but nothing changed until I told her no more or I was divorcing him.</p><p> </p><p>And even with that...... Lately I've been asking myself if I'm not making Travis do enough to strive to attempt independence. When should I draw the line with letting Nichole live here?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 175370, member: 84"] Witz I think Steely is right that this post can help alot of other members, especially many who read but don't post. I've learned alot from posts of addiction, even though I knew alot before from my own experiences. Codependency can be awfully complicated. I find myself backing off more and more in doing things for my kids that they are capable of learning and doing for themselves. But sometimes that fine line of helping vs enabling isn't always so clear, at least to the person involved. When I'm unsure I try to think what my grandmother would've done. She had tough love down to an art form. But not everyone has someone like that to draw from. I adore my mother in law. But she enabled the heck out of husband for 40 some years until I put a stop to it. I'm still living with the reprocussions from that. And I'm determined my kids won't wind up the same way. mother in law's reason to me was to prevent my kids from suffering for his actions. A good reason from her stand point, but nothing changed until I told her no more or I was divorcing him. And even with that...... Lately I've been asking myself if I'm not making Travis do enough to strive to attempt independence. When should I draw the line with letting Nichole live here? [/QUOTE]
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