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General Parenting
Not really sure what to do...I guess I'm looking for support, ideas, and commiseratio
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 295297" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there. I'm adoptive mom of four, and I have a few things to say. First where is EE??? That's one I never heard of. Is this a local adoption where you get a subsidy and Medicaid or an international adoption?</p><p></p><p>Secondly, he sounds just like the child we adopted out of foster care. Our son is on the autism spectrum. If I were to venture a guess, that's what I'd think he may have. That would make it hard for him to play in his room for 30 minutes, therapist's orders or not. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids don't know how to play so they tend to take things apart or write on things or rock or just bang things around. It's part of the disorder. Does your child make good eye contact? Does he use toys the normal way? Does he have a good imagination? Does he know how to relate to his same age peers appropriately? Can he hold a give-and-take conversation? Drug use in utero can cause Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). It is not best treated with behavioral therapies because these kid's brains are wired differently and they don't respond like "typical" kids.</p><p></p><p>Thirdly, if this child was exposed to drinking in utero, you have a problem because he could have fetal alcohol spectrum which is very difficult to deal with. It's NOT THE CHILD'S FAULT...IT IS ORGANIC BRAIN DAMAGE. You didn't describe your child enough to tell, so can you child retain information or does he forget the alphabet one day and know it the next? Does he have a very poor or non-existent short term memory? These are big red flags for alcohol problems which cause behavioral issues. These kids need constant supervision, even as they grow into adults, I'm told. They can't help it. They don't understand things and they never remember stuff and don't "get" right from wrong. but it may not be alcohol problems. It sounds more Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)-like to me, and that's workable. Remember, all of us are laymen though.</p><p></p><p></p><p>in my opinion you need to get this child completely evaluated by a NeuroPsychologist. You can find them at university hospitals, and they take Medicaid. Children who are adopted with "iffy" prenatal histories and genetic backgrounds are very hard to diagnose. A neuropsychologist could test him for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and for fetal alcohol syndrome and anything else. </p><p></p><p>Now the lecture: Stop hitting him. Whether it works or doesn't work, it's not his fault he behaves the way he does, and it's not personal and hitting him will not help him and will only make him more aggressive. You could also be turned into CPS. I don't know where you live, but in some states, they are pretty strict about corporal punishment with little kids. Also, coporal punishment only works when the kids are tiny. Wait until they get older and if they are problem children they may hit you back. I would stop that right now. You need an evaluation and interventions, not physical punishment. I wouldn't adopt another child until you get a handle on this one. Another child may have the same issues or similar ones. </p><p></p><p>One last thing. Did he have any love or affection for the first fifteen months of his life? If not, you also need to look into attachment disorder, which a developmental pediatrician or the schools probably never even heard of. Be careful though. Many Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) adopted kids are misdiagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) because they can look the same. I still really believe he is somewhere on the autism spectrum and that's what's going on the most. My son's first diagnosis. was ADHD/ODD. He has neither.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Glad to have you with us, sorry you have to be here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 295297, member: 1550"] Hi there. I'm adoptive mom of four, and I have a few things to say. First where is EE??? That's one I never heard of. Is this a local adoption where you get a subsidy and Medicaid or an international adoption? Secondly, he sounds just like the child we adopted out of foster care. Our son is on the autism spectrum. If I were to venture a guess, that's what I'd think he may have. That would make it hard for him to play in his room for 30 minutes, therapist's orders or not. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids don't know how to play so they tend to take things apart or write on things or rock or just bang things around. It's part of the disorder. Does your child make good eye contact? Does he use toys the normal way? Does he have a good imagination? Does he know how to relate to his same age peers appropriately? Can he hold a give-and-take conversation? Drug use in utero can cause Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). It is not best treated with behavioral therapies because these kid's brains are wired differently and they don't respond like "typical" kids. Thirdly, if this child was exposed to drinking in utero, you have a problem because he could have fetal alcohol spectrum which is very difficult to deal with. It's NOT THE CHILD'S FAULT...IT IS ORGANIC BRAIN DAMAGE. You didn't describe your child enough to tell, so can you child retain information or does he forget the alphabet one day and know it the next? Does he have a very poor or non-existent short term memory? These are big red flags for alcohol problems which cause behavioral issues. These kids need constant supervision, even as they grow into adults, I'm told. They can't help it. They don't understand things and they never remember stuff and don't "get" right from wrong. but it may not be alcohol problems. It sounds more Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)-like to me, and that's workable. Remember, all of us are laymen though. in my opinion you need to get this child completely evaluated by a NeuroPsychologist. You can find them at university hospitals, and they take Medicaid. Children who are adopted with "iffy" prenatal histories and genetic backgrounds are very hard to diagnose. A neuropsychologist could test him for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and for fetal alcohol syndrome and anything else. Now the lecture: Stop hitting him. Whether it works or doesn't work, it's not his fault he behaves the way he does, and it's not personal and hitting him will not help him and will only make him more aggressive. You could also be turned into CPS. I don't know where you live, but in some states, they are pretty strict about corporal punishment with little kids. Also, coporal punishment only works when the kids are tiny. Wait until they get older and if they are problem children they may hit you back. I would stop that right now. You need an evaluation and interventions, not physical punishment. I wouldn't adopt another child until you get a handle on this one. Another child may have the same issues or similar ones. One last thing. Did he have any love or affection for the first fifteen months of his life? If not, you also need to look into attachment disorder, which a developmental pediatrician or the schools probably never even heard of. Be careful though. Many Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) adopted kids are misdiagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) because they can look the same. I still really believe he is somewhere on the autism spectrum and that's what's going on the most. My son's first diagnosis. was ADHD/ODD. He has neither. Glad to have you with us, sorry you have to be here. [/QUOTE]
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