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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 747260" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>It's so difficult to accept that as parents we have very little influence over what our adult children do. Around 8 years ago I put my adult daughter out of my house with her infant daughter because she refused to follow the agreed upon rules of my home. It was horrible, but the best thing for both of us. She floundered for several years and it was hard to watch. She's an alcoholic and has been sober and relapsed. Currently she is expecting her second child, is relatively stable with a job, housing and back in school. She's sober now because she is pregnant but I think I will always worry about relapse. If I had let her bounce in and out of my home and enabled her I don't think she would be as stable as she is now. She had to figure it out on her own, which also gives her a sense of pride and accomplishment. I know how difficult this is but you did the right thing in kicking her out. If she wants to get sober she will do it when she is ready and do it for herself. If she gets sober for someone else, that person will be her excuse for relapsing. Please focus your energy on yourself and learning about healthy boundaries. Treat yourself kindly as you are going through a trauma. Find things to keep yourself busy- color, walk in nature, learn to knit, go to a movie or binge watch a TV show. I love my job so when I am struggling in my personal life I can throw myself into my work to keep my mind occupied. Sending peace to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 747260, member: 11235"] It's so difficult to accept that as parents we have very little influence over what our adult children do. Around 8 years ago I put my adult daughter out of my house with her infant daughter because she refused to follow the agreed upon rules of my home. It was horrible, but the best thing for both of us. She floundered for several years and it was hard to watch. She's an alcoholic and has been sober and relapsed. Currently she is expecting her second child, is relatively stable with a job, housing and back in school. She's sober now because she is pregnant but I think I will always worry about relapse. If I had let her bounce in and out of my home and enabled her I don't think she would be as stable as she is now. She had to figure it out on her own, which also gives her a sense of pride and accomplishment. I know how difficult this is but you did the right thing in kicking her out. If she wants to get sober she will do it when she is ready and do it for herself. If she gets sober for someone else, that person will be her excuse for relapsing. Please focus your energy on yourself and learning about healthy boundaries. Treat yourself kindly as you are going through a trauma. Find things to keep yourself busy- color, walk in nature, learn to knit, go to a movie or binge watch a TV show. I love my job so when I am struggling in my personal life I can throw myself into my work to keep my mind occupied. Sending peace to you. [/QUOTE]
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