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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 547002" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I've been coming in and reading the responses and am thankful I didn't rush into giving her a response. </p><p></p><p>You guys are pretty amazing and have given me much to think about.</p><p></p><p>I think choosing things I can actually apologize for is a good idea. I never meant to make her feel like she was being pushed aside, I can apologize for that. I think that is where the real hurt lies. </p><p></p><p>She's told me several times that biomom would tell her constantly growing up that we didn't love her and didn't want her in our lives. I don't have any trouble believing that, biomom is a very insecure person herself and her biggest fear has been losing Kaite. So I guess if I make myself think of it that way, it makes sense she picked what she did to latch on to. </p><p></p><p>I'll have to keep in mind that biomom is right there probably still telling her that, while M is telling her that as well to keep her isolated. </p><p></p><p>When a situation gets uncomfortable for her, she just stops communicating. I don't know how much patience I'll have with that either.</p><p></p><p>No I don't have the relationship I have with Nichole with Katie. Katie as an adult is basically a stranger to me, and I'm majorly handicapped by it. </p><p></p><p>I'll take my time writing my response letter. </p><p></p><p>Janet, I won't do a dvd. But I will write to her for now even though it ticks me off for multiple reasons. I won't keep it up for long though because the risk is just too high for misinterpretation. That has been the problem all along, on both sides. At some point she's either going to have to be willing to pick up the phone or go to lunch with me. She's going to have to do some of the work involved with this too, or it's not going to work at all. I don't see myself still communicating with her by letter 11 months from now........that's just not going to happen. I'm not a letter writer, and post Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), I'm <strong>really</strong> not a letter writer. That's why I hated only being able to communicate with her via fb. </p><p></p><p>Nichole has been at this for 10 months and can't get past the casual way one might talk to a stranger. It's frustrating, and at times it feels downright pointless. And she's about to give up. Kayla texted Nichole by accident the other day trying to text a friend. (guess what, she has a cell phone too omg) When Nichole responded........Kayla called her back. The call disturbed Nichole. Kayla has been at a friends house the entire summer. The kids Kayla told Nichole she was hanging with and what they do........is not a good group of kids, they come from major difficult child families and odds are high they're major difficult children themselves. (alcohol, drugs, sex, and petty crimes) Nichole had seen before because she's friends with Kayla on her secret fb page. Not a bit secret as I'm the one who found it cuz she posted on her old fb page. (lol) She had warned katie who Kayla is hanging with and that it's downright dangerous without constant supervision at best........and she's been flat out ignored. Nichole says she won't bother to tell her anything like that again. Last night Nichole told me she's about to give up, it's like talking to a wall. I told her to hang on a bit longer. </p><p></p><p>in my opinion casual is better than nothing. It at least keeps her in contact with the family.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sigh.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sigh:" title="sigh :sigh:" data-shortname=":sigh:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 547002, member: 84"] I've been coming in and reading the responses and am thankful I didn't rush into giving her a response. You guys are pretty amazing and have given me much to think about. I think choosing things I can actually apologize for is a good idea. I never meant to make her feel like she was being pushed aside, I can apologize for that. I think that is where the real hurt lies. She's told me several times that biomom would tell her constantly growing up that we didn't love her and didn't want her in our lives. I don't have any trouble believing that, biomom is a very insecure person herself and her biggest fear has been losing Kaite. So I guess if I make myself think of it that way, it makes sense she picked what she did to latch on to. I'll have to keep in mind that biomom is right there probably still telling her that, while M is telling her that as well to keep her isolated. When a situation gets uncomfortable for her, she just stops communicating. I don't know how much patience I'll have with that either. No I don't have the relationship I have with Nichole with Katie. Katie as an adult is basically a stranger to me, and I'm majorly handicapped by it. I'll take my time writing my response letter. Janet, I won't do a dvd. But I will write to her for now even though it ticks me off for multiple reasons. I won't keep it up for long though because the risk is just too high for misinterpretation. That has been the problem all along, on both sides. At some point she's either going to have to be willing to pick up the phone or go to lunch with me. She's going to have to do some of the work involved with this too, or it's not going to work at all. I don't see myself still communicating with her by letter 11 months from now........that's just not going to happen. I'm not a letter writer, and post Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), I'm [B]really[/B] not a letter writer. That's why I hated only being able to communicate with her via fb. Nichole has been at this for 10 months and can't get past the casual way one might talk to a stranger. It's frustrating, and at times it feels downright pointless. And she's about to give up. Kayla texted Nichole by accident the other day trying to text a friend. (guess what, she has a cell phone too omg) When Nichole responded........Kayla called her back. The call disturbed Nichole. Kayla has been at a friends house the entire summer. The kids Kayla told Nichole she was hanging with and what they do........is not a good group of kids, they come from major difficult child families and odds are high they're major difficult children themselves. (alcohol, drugs, sex, and petty crimes) Nichole had seen before because she's friends with Kayla on her secret fb page. Not a bit secret as I'm the one who found it cuz she posted on her old fb page. (lol) She had warned katie who Kayla is hanging with and that it's downright dangerous without constant supervision at best........and she's been flat out ignored. Nichole says she won't bother to tell her anything like that again. Last night Nichole told me she's about to give up, it's like talking to a wall. I told her to hang on a bit longer. in my opinion casual is better than nothing. It at least keeps her in contact with the family.:sigh: [/QUOTE]
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