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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 595702" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My own thoughts.</p><p></p><p>I've raised four kids (five if you include Scott) and the first one is the one that most parents are most worried over about everything. First off, I would forget about the room. It's not worth the fight. If she chooses to live like a pig, make sure s he shuts the door. I never ever badgered my kids about their rooms and all of them grew into neat freaks. They are such neat freaks now that it's amusing because at fifteen they were all slobs. That sure changed once they were living on their own.</p><p></p><p>I don't think you should bring up her sexuality either. in my opinion she is what she is. It's common to experiment and if she is a lesbian, she is one and no therapist can change that. All he can do is make her feel ashamed. And she can't help it. The risque pictures are a different story. You can make it clear that your camera is NOT to be used to take inappropriate pictures and that she needs to go by your guidelines in order to use it. </p><p></p><p>While I agree that your daughter is too young to be having any sort of sex, a lot of kids do at fifteen. At least she can't get pregnant...lol. In all seriousness, I am not sure there is anything you or a therapist can do to stop it if it has already started. I remember a friend of mine whose parents were very religious and did not want her to even date until age sixteen. She had sex in the parking lot at school with an older boy from our high school. I have yet to find a parent who successfully was able to stop a sexually active child from being sexually active. They just get sneaky about it. I'd rather have it out in the open. The only real solution is to lock her in her room until she turns 18 and she will find a way to get out of that room or do it at school. </p><p></p><p>This could be a phase that she backs off from too, but mom nagging is sometimes the reason some difficult children get even more involved in their stuff. </p><p></p><p></p><p>A kind of funny story because, at the time, my son was nineteen and old enough to have sex if he wanted to...at any rate, he did not live with me anymore. I was in his room looking for photos so that I could show a very young Sonic some old pictures of himself (Sonic) with 35, who was once very close to him. I found some pictures and almost screamed. They were pictures of some girl in a towel, like she had just gotten out of the shower. I didn't want to see any more so I shoved them back in his drawer and never told him I saw them. Sonic kept asking, "Can I look and see if I can find the pictures?"</p><p></p><p>I think this is more normal than you think. To me, the one big deal is not putting any appropriate pictures on YOUR camera. If she does, no camera.</p><p></p><p>JMO. I tend not to freak out over messy rooms or a certain amount of normal sexual experimentation maybe because I've been through it many times. But I was the most frantic about Mr. 35, my first child, and for all my worry and hypernness and in my opinion unnecessary confrontations with him, he actually turned out to be the least responsible adult. My nagging at him didn't help him one bit.</p><p></p><p>I support whatever you decide to do <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Just telling you my point of view, which you are free to reject without making me feel bad <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> We're all different.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 595702, member: 1550"] My own thoughts. I've raised four kids (five if you include Scott) and the first one is the one that most parents are most worried over about everything. First off, I would forget about the room. It's not worth the fight. If she chooses to live like a pig, make sure s he shuts the door. I never ever badgered my kids about their rooms and all of them grew into neat freaks. They are such neat freaks now that it's amusing because at fifteen they were all slobs. That sure changed once they were living on their own. I don't think you should bring up her sexuality either. in my opinion she is what she is. It's common to experiment and if she is a lesbian, she is one and no therapist can change that. All he can do is make her feel ashamed. And she can't help it. The risque pictures are a different story. You can make it clear that your camera is NOT to be used to take inappropriate pictures and that she needs to go by your guidelines in order to use it. While I agree that your daughter is too young to be having any sort of sex, a lot of kids do at fifteen. At least she can't get pregnant...lol. In all seriousness, I am not sure there is anything you or a therapist can do to stop it if it has already started. I remember a friend of mine whose parents were very religious and did not want her to even date until age sixteen. She had sex in the parking lot at school with an older boy from our high school. I have yet to find a parent who successfully was able to stop a sexually active child from being sexually active. They just get sneaky about it. I'd rather have it out in the open. The only real solution is to lock her in her room until she turns 18 and she will find a way to get out of that room or do it at school. This could be a phase that she backs off from too, but mom nagging is sometimes the reason some difficult children get even more involved in their stuff. A kind of funny story because, at the time, my son was nineteen and old enough to have sex if he wanted to...at any rate, he did not live with me anymore. I was in his room looking for photos so that I could show a very young Sonic some old pictures of himself (Sonic) with 35, who was once very close to him. I found some pictures and almost screamed. They were pictures of some girl in a towel, like she had just gotten out of the shower. I didn't want to see any more so I shoved them back in his drawer and never told him I saw them. Sonic kept asking, "Can I look and see if I can find the pictures?" I think this is more normal than you think. To me, the one big deal is not putting any appropriate pictures on YOUR camera. If she does, no camera. JMO. I tend not to freak out over messy rooms or a certain amount of normal sexual experimentation maybe because I've been through it many times. But I was the most frantic about Mr. 35, my first child, and for all my worry and hypernness and in my opinion unnecessary confrontations with him, he actually turned out to be the least responsible adult. My nagging at him didn't help him one bit. I support whatever you decide to do :) Just telling you my point of view, which you are free to reject without making me feel bad :) We're all different. [/QUOTE]
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