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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 595734" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I wouldn't make much of the issue about sexual identity part of it. She certainly is in the age to think about those matters but considering all you have told about her, I wouldn't take a picture of her and some other girl kissing as a sign of anything. I think you can get that one covered with making sure that she knows you are cool with her and her sister having any sexual identity.</p><p></p><p>I of course don't know that well trends going on in USA but at least here it has been very common for years for girls (some reason not so often with boys) to try to gain attention by claiming to be bisexual (not so often lesbian) or kissing with other girls etc. Some of course are bisexual, some are experimenting, but many of those girls are simply seeking attention. This has been a big trend at least 10 or 15 years and of course has lost it's shock or attention gaining value long ago, but younger teens don't know that and are still doing it. Also nude pictures are kind of attention seeking behaviour. She probably didn't take them just for herself but was planning to show them to someone.</p><p></p><p>Attention seeking of course is also typical for girl her age. The thing that worries me is, that with her inability to notice and adhere those invisible boundaries she may do things that put her in great risk and she may get hurt by one way or another. Attention seeking and pushing boundaries are typical and age appropriate behaviours for 15 year-old girls. But most of them have rather clear understanding on when things are getting too far. I'm afraid your difficult child doesn't have that.</p><p></p><p>I have a goddaughter about the same age as your daughter (fourteen, turning fifteen.) Her parents are suffering acute parental stupidity and lameness right now (the kind that tends to start when puberty first hits to their child and lasts from 3 to six years with symptoms first getting worst about two years and then starting to disappear slowly) and because my own parental stupidity and lameness (which has very much improved lately, I think I'm almost recovered) doesn't present as godparental stupidity and lameness (neither does her parents, which is a good thing considering they are easy child's godparents) I have had a chance to have many heart to hearts with her. She is a easy child and smart girl. I can easily imagine her both taking nude pictures of herself and seeking attention by kissing some of her friends. But even on her hormonal upheavals she would be careful to whom she would show those pictures and would make sure she has the only copies. And with any experiment or attention seeking or risk taking she does have a clear understanding of when things are getting too serious or dangerous. She does know the limit when things get over her head and understands to call help if that happens. She may do stupid or somewhat risky things, but she does recognize the boundaries of 'too far.' And I worry that this ability is something your difficult child lacks and that makes her very vulnerable.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 595734, member: 14557"] I wouldn't make much of the issue about sexual identity part of it. She certainly is in the age to think about those matters but considering all you have told about her, I wouldn't take a picture of her and some other girl kissing as a sign of anything. I think you can get that one covered with making sure that she knows you are cool with her and her sister having any sexual identity. I of course don't know that well trends going on in USA but at least here it has been very common for years for girls (some reason not so often with boys) to try to gain attention by claiming to be bisexual (not so often lesbian) or kissing with other girls etc. Some of course are bisexual, some are experimenting, but many of those girls are simply seeking attention. This has been a big trend at least 10 or 15 years and of course has lost it's shock or attention gaining value long ago, but younger teens don't know that and are still doing it. Also nude pictures are kind of attention seeking behaviour. She probably didn't take them just for herself but was planning to show them to someone. Attention seeking of course is also typical for girl her age. The thing that worries me is, that with her inability to notice and adhere those invisible boundaries she may do things that put her in great risk and she may get hurt by one way or another. Attention seeking and pushing boundaries are typical and age appropriate behaviours for 15 year-old girls. But most of them have rather clear understanding on when things are getting too far. I'm afraid your difficult child doesn't have that. I have a goddaughter about the same age as your daughter (fourteen, turning fifteen.) Her parents are suffering acute parental stupidity and lameness right now (the kind that tends to start when puberty first hits to their child and lasts from 3 to six years with symptoms first getting worst about two years and then starting to disappear slowly) and because my own parental stupidity and lameness (which has very much improved lately, I think I'm almost recovered) doesn't present as godparental stupidity and lameness (neither does her parents, which is a good thing considering they are easy child's godparents) I have had a chance to have many heart to hearts with her. She is a easy child and smart girl. I can easily imagine her both taking nude pictures of herself and seeking attention by kissing some of her friends. But even on her hormonal upheavals she would be careful to whom she would show those pictures and would make sure she has the only copies. And with any experiment or attention seeking or risk taking she does have a clear understanding of when things are getting too serious or dangerous. She does know the limit when things get over her head and understands to call help if that happens. She may do stupid or somewhat risky things, but she does recognize the boundaries of 'too far.' And I worry that this ability is something your difficult child lacks and that makes her very vulnerable. [/QUOTE]
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