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Now he is really gone.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 678579" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Isn't that interesting, that each of them is so different from the others and each like you in essential ways.</p><p></p><p>I will tell you a secret.</p><p></p><p>I had a boyfriend many years ago who had an identical twin. It was not a close relationship. It was mainly attraction and convenience. A kind of friendship. They were from another country, a kingdom and their father in the court of a famous king whose name you would recognize.</p><p></p><p>So, first I was involved with one brother, and then, secretly from the other, a couple of years later, I became involved with the other, more deeply but still not seriously. *These are old, old memories.</p><p></p><p>Needless to say I knew both men well. Sharing genetic material 100 percent, they looked exactly the same. Except they did not. They were so different that you could easily tell the difference in them, because they were radically different men.</p><p></p><p>One was minimally educated and drove a taxi. The other one had secured entry into the best graduate school in the country.</p><p></p><p>One was charming. The other, gruff.</p><p></p><p>One was manipulative. The other one a straight shooter.</p><p></p><p>One was elegant and well-dressed, the other indifferent to appearances.</p><p></p><p>While both from a royal family, one identified as working class, the other acted as if a crown-prince. (Both had equally lost any real or illusory claim on their former high status.)</p><p></p><p>One was upwardly mobile and avaricious, the other was easy going and tender-hearted.</p><p></p><p>I had become convinced that they had chosen radically different identities, because their genetics were the same.</p><p></p><p>I believe the same thing is true of my sister and I and your sons. There is so much choice involved in identity.</p><p></p><p>Thank you Feeling.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p><p></p><p>I am thinking here about the man who had the face transplant. I forget how he lost his face, but a new face was transplanted to him belonging to somebody who was brain dead and dying. </p><p></p><p>Well, I was fascinated to hear an interview with the surgeon, who said this: Gradually the new face is changing into the face of the recipient...the face that he lost...is being re-generated on the newly acquired face.</p><p></p><p>My only way to understand this is that our faces are genetically determined, and that genes continue living and acting upon us as long as we live. So his genes were modifying his newly acquired face, in accordance with the genetic template for "face" that continued to operate in the man.</p><p></p><p>Now on the face of things, this would seem to argue against my position, about the primacy of environment. But I do not think so. Genes always operate in an environment. In interaction with the environment. So even the same set of genes will be different in a different environment. Time, place, parents, circumstances, culture all create different environments. </p><p></p><p>In twin studies there is remarkable confluence in aptitudes, preferences, and prejudices of identical twins separated at birth. But there are differences too. The differences are what fascinate me. As do the differences between myself and my sister.</p><p></p><p>M said yesterday: You are nothing like your sister. Not one thing is even similar. </p><p></p><p>I had said to him, for the one millionth time: Why do you think she did that, turn against my mother at the end? (I think this is about the closest I have come to evil in my whole life. I know that my sister has her own story about the whys. But I just cannot wrap my brain around it.)</p><p></p><p>So M answered what he answered, what in its essence, let it go. Think about the future. It doesn't matter anymore. Let it go.</p><p></p><p>There we are. At the tail end of my life, I have arrived at a place where there is nothing at all that links me to my biology. In the sense of kin. </p><p></p><p>And I am thinking of our adopted children here. How it must feel to them, to never ever have had somebody of their blood near them. My son insists it does not matter. That it never mattered. I do not believe him.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 678579, member: 18958"] Isn't that interesting, that each of them is so different from the others and each like you in essential ways. I will tell you a secret. I had a boyfriend many years ago who had an identical twin. It was not a close relationship. It was mainly attraction and convenience. A kind of friendship. They were from another country, a kingdom and their father in the court of a famous king whose name you would recognize. So, first I was involved with one brother, and then, secretly from the other, a couple of years later, I became involved with the other, more deeply but still not seriously. *These are old, old memories. Needless to say I knew both men well. Sharing genetic material 100 percent, they looked exactly the same. Except they did not. They were so different that you could easily tell the difference in them, because they were radically different men. One was minimally educated and drove a taxi. The other one had secured entry into the best graduate school in the country. One was charming. The other, gruff. One was manipulative. The other one a straight shooter. One was elegant and well-dressed, the other indifferent to appearances. While both from a royal family, one identified as working class, the other acted as if a crown-prince. (Both had equally lost any real or illusory claim on their former high status.) One was upwardly mobile and avaricious, the other was easy going and tender-hearted. I had become convinced that they had chosen radically different identities, because their genetics were the same. I believe the same thing is true of my sister and I and your sons. There is so much choice involved in identity. Thank you Feeling. COPA I am thinking here about the man who had the face transplant. I forget how he lost his face, but a new face was transplanted to him belonging to somebody who was brain dead and dying. Well, I was fascinated to hear an interview with the surgeon, who said this: Gradually the new face is changing into the face of the recipient...the face that he lost...is being re-generated on the newly acquired face. My only way to understand this is that our faces are genetically determined, and that genes continue living and acting upon us as long as we live. So his genes were modifying his newly acquired face, in accordance with the genetic template for "face" that continued to operate in the man. Now on the face of things, this would seem to argue against my position, about the primacy of environment. But I do not think so. Genes always operate in an environment. In interaction with the environment. So even the same set of genes will be different in a different environment. Time, place, parents, circumstances, culture all create different environments. In twin studies there is remarkable confluence in aptitudes, preferences, and prejudices of identical twins separated at birth. But there are differences too. The differences are what fascinate me. As do the differences between myself and my sister. M said yesterday: You are nothing like your sister. Not one thing is even similar. I had said to him, for the one millionth time: Why do you think she did that, turn against my mother at the end? (I think this is about the closest I have come to evil in my whole life. I know that my sister has her own story about the whys. But I just cannot wrap my brain around it.) So M answered what he answered, what in its essence, let it go. Think about the future. It doesn't matter anymore. Let it go. There we are. At the tail end of my life, I have arrived at a place where there is nothing at all that links me to my biology. In the sense of kin. And I am thinking of our adopted children here. How it must feel to them, to never ever have had somebody of their blood near them. My son insists it does not matter. That it never mattered. I do not believe him. COPA [/QUOTE]
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