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Now he is really gone.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 678772" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I asked M tonight if my son had called him. He said yes. Today or yesterday? Both days, M answered.</p><p></p><p>My son was waiting at the house where M has been working and goes to pick up his tools. For several days he has been doing another job. He picks up his tools and brings them back.</p><p></p><p>My son was there last night, with a sleeping bag, outside. M let him in last night. To sleep inside. And then in the morning he met my son there, and locked the door as he left. M did not mention it to me.</p><p></p><p>On Monday morning M had told my son he needed to leave. That he could no longer stay there. My son had received his SSI check which was the pretext for his coming to us in the first place. A lack of money.</p><p></p><p>Now, there is money. Now there is choice. Now there are every manner of alternative, except his preferred one which is to make somebody else, namely me, responsible.</p><p></p><p>M says he did not have the will or energy to fight him yesterday or today. I still wish he had told me. I guess he did not have the will to fight me either. My son is triangulating and it is working.</p><p></p><p>I said to M just now: I will tell him that if he continues to come on the property I will file a restraining order (I doubt if I have the grounds.)</p><p></p><p>M answered: Are you going to handle this or am I?</p><p></p><p>I answered: There are neighbors who are affected. Over and above our interests, there are neighbors, good neighbors who do not deserve this. M said my son looked completely straggly. Unshaven. He was bad enough before with burnt holes in his clothes, that hung on him like rags. Now walking around with a sleeping bag.</p><p></p><p>When he has the money to pay rent, but chooses not to. I am hating my son right now for what he does, does to me. To M.</p><p></p><p>This is like what Cedar says, turning themselves into beggars, more and more abject, so as to make themselves low enough so that we will help them.</p><p></p><p>I am horrified. Our children force us to become who we are not. They force our hand. I hate this.</p><p></p><p>This is strategic on my son's part. But the reality, is he has no one else now who he trusts to go to. For some reason he does not want to get his own apartment. If he fears again to couch surf with marginal people, I do not blame him. He has run into or made problems over and over again. There is the shelter, and the mission--I know he will say there is no space. Maybe there is not.</p><p></p><p>I hate my life when it becomes this. I really do. It blots out all pleasure, security and peace. Why did I ask M? I guess for the same reason that he did not tell me.</p><p></p><p>M will handle it tomorrow. I hope.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 678772, member: 18958"] I asked M tonight if my son had called him. He said yes. Today or yesterday? Both days, M answered. My son was waiting at the house where M has been working and goes to pick up his tools. For several days he has been doing another job. He picks up his tools and brings them back. My son was there last night, with a sleeping bag, outside. M let him in last night. To sleep inside. And then in the morning he met my son there, and locked the door as he left. M did not mention it to me. On Monday morning M had told my son he needed to leave. That he could no longer stay there. My son had received his SSI check which was the pretext for his coming to us in the first place. A lack of money. Now, there is money. Now there is choice. Now there are every manner of alternative, except his preferred one which is to make somebody else, namely me, responsible. M says he did not have the will or energy to fight him yesterday or today. I still wish he had told me. I guess he did not have the will to fight me either. My son is triangulating and it is working. I said to M just now: I will tell him that if he continues to come on the property I will file a restraining order (I doubt if I have the grounds.) M answered: Are you going to handle this or am I? I answered: There are neighbors who are affected. Over and above our interests, there are neighbors, good neighbors who do not deserve this. M said my son looked completely straggly. Unshaven. He was bad enough before with burnt holes in his clothes, that hung on him like rags. Now walking around with a sleeping bag. When he has the money to pay rent, but chooses not to. I am hating my son right now for what he does, does to me. To M. This is like what Cedar says, turning themselves into beggars, more and more abject, so as to make themselves low enough so that we will help them. I am horrified. Our children force us to become who we are not. They force our hand. I hate this. This is strategic on my son's part. But the reality, is he has no one else now who he trusts to go to. For some reason he does not want to get his own apartment. If he fears again to couch surf with marginal people, I do not blame him. He has run into or made problems over and over again. There is the shelter, and the mission--I know he will say there is no space. Maybe there is not. I hate my life when it becomes this. I really do. It blots out all pleasure, security and peace. Why did I ask M? I guess for the same reason that he did not tell me. M will handle it tomorrow. I hope. COPA [/QUOTE]
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