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General Parenting
Observing 4 teenagers this past weekend....
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<blockquote data-quote="Mom2oddson" data-source="post: 368233" data-attributes="member: 65"><p>And even when you do question it... you seem to be the only one.</p><p></p><p>Tried multiple schools, both private and public, with difficult child-A trying to find just one that would hold him accountable. But I was always told that He's so sweet, charming...whatever...that it was only fair to give him a second, third, one zillionth chance. </p><p></p><p>I was the only person in the difficult children lives that ever held them accountable and I stood alone. Between the schools, mother in law, the courts, and even husband all being soft on the difficult children....it was hard to make a difference. </p><p></p><p>It doesn't help that too many people (mother in law & husband) worry about the childs feelings. difficult child-A tried that on me once saying that I didn't care about his feelings. I told him that God put me on this earth to make sure you grow up to be a decent human being, not to worry about how you are feeling. When you are 30 I'll worry about your feelings. Until then, I'm here to teach you how to behave. ..... didn't do me any good, except he never used the feelings line with me again. Unfortunately, it works on mother in law and husband. </p><p></p><p>Maybe that's another side of the coin, there is no united front for these kids. They can divide and conquer whether it's the school, the court, Mom and Dad or the grandparents/bio-parents/step-parents. Without all sides being on the same page, how is a kid to know where he should be. </p><p></p><p>At least with easy child, I lucked out, even if my parents didn't always agree with what I was doing, they supported me 100%. Considering easy child is just a stubborn as difficult child-A, I think the constant consistency in his life made the difference.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mom2oddson, post: 368233, member: 65"] And even when you do question it... you seem to be the only one. Tried multiple schools, both private and public, with difficult child-A trying to find just one that would hold him accountable. But I was always told that He's so sweet, charming...whatever...that it was only fair to give him a second, third, one zillionth chance. I was the only person in the difficult children lives that ever held them accountable and I stood alone. Between the schools, mother in law, the courts, and even husband all being soft on the difficult children....it was hard to make a difference. It doesn't help that too many people (mother in law & husband) worry about the childs feelings. difficult child-A tried that on me once saying that I didn't care about his feelings. I told him that God put me on this earth to make sure you grow up to be a decent human being, not to worry about how you are feeling. When you are 30 I'll worry about your feelings. Until then, I'm here to teach you how to behave. ..... didn't do me any good, except he never used the feelings line with me again. Unfortunately, it works on mother in law and husband. Maybe that's another side of the coin, there is no united front for these kids. They can divide and conquer whether it's the school, the court, Mom and Dad or the grandparents/bio-parents/step-parents. Without all sides being on the same page, how is a kid to know where he should be. At least with easy child, I lucked out, even if my parents didn't always agree with what I was doing, they supported me 100%. Considering easy child is just a stubborn as difficult child-A, I think the constant consistency in his life made the difference. [/QUOTE]
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