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General Parenting
Observing 4 teenagers this past weekend....
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 368245" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>Does anyone still watch Dr. Phil? Even I gave up on him!</p><p> </p><p>You don't have to scream and cuss and threaten children, but a whole lot balances on the tone of your voice! You can talk to them very sternly, in a no-nonsense tone where they KNOW that you mean business, and it does work. But it only works if they <em>know</em> there will be consequences, and if they know you <em>will</em> follow through and that you're not just making empty threats. And you've got to be consistent.</p><p> </p><p>I have an aunt who is now 88 years old, and I admire her so much! Sweetest lady in the world! They had six kids from about my age on down. Her husband was in the military and was gone a lot so she raised them alone much of the time. The three oldest, all boys, had a reputation for being hell-on-wheels and were always in to something. But she could literally stop them in their tracks, just by giving them "that look"! And heaven help them if she started <em>counting</em>! In extreme cases, she would raise one finger and quietly say, "That's ONE!" She very rarely got to "Two" and I don't think I ever heard her get all the way to "Three!" It worked for her because they <em>knew</em> it wasn't a bluff. They knew for sure that she <em>would</em> follow through and that there <em>would</em> be consequences, and that they wouldn't like those consequences one bit! There was absolutely no doubt who was in charge at their house! And because they knew she <em>would</em> come down hard on them, she very rarely had to, if that makes any sense! And they all grew up to be decent, responsible, well-educated adults whose self-esteem is just fine, thank you!</p><p> </p><p>She's 88 now, spunky as ever, and her children range from their early 60's to late 40's, and she's helped to raise several of her grandchildren too. And the funny part is ... she can still do it! She can still stop them dead in their tracks, just by giving them "that look"!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 368245, member: 1883"] Does anyone still watch Dr. Phil? Even I gave up on him! You don't have to scream and cuss and threaten children, but a whole lot balances on the tone of your voice! You can talk to them very sternly, in a no-nonsense tone where they KNOW that you mean business, and it does work. But it only works if they [I]know[/I] there will be consequences, and if they know you [I]will[/I] follow through and that you're not just making empty threats. And you've got to be consistent. I have an aunt who is now 88 years old, and I admire her so much! Sweetest lady in the world! They had six kids from about my age on down. Her husband was in the military and was gone a lot so she raised them alone much of the time. The three oldest, all boys, had a reputation for being hell-on-wheels and were always in to something. But she could literally stop them in their tracks, just by giving them "that look"! And heaven help them if she started [I]counting[/I]! In extreme cases, she would raise one finger and quietly say, "That's ONE!" She very rarely got to "Two" and I don't think I ever heard her get all the way to "Three!" It worked for her because they [I]knew[/I] it wasn't a bluff. They knew for sure that she [I]would[/I] follow through and that there [I]would[/I] be consequences, and that they wouldn't like those consequences one bit! There was absolutely no doubt who was in charge at their house! And because they knew she [I]would[/I] come down hard on them, she very rarely had to, if that makes any sense! And they all grew up to be decent, responsible, well-educated adults whose self-esteem is just fine, thank you! She's 88 now, spunky as ever, and her children range from their early 60's to late 40's, and she's helped to raise several of her grandchildren too. And the funny part is ... she can still do it! She can still stop them dead in their tracks, just by giving them "that look"! [/QUOTE]
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