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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 659669" data-attributes="member: 15810"><p>You have just described my life with my 16 year old son. I love him, but don't always like him. And, in truth, sometimes I don't really even like him. </p><p></p><p>Have you thought about getting her evaluated by a neuropsychiatrist? It's long testing (hours, usually done over a few days), but it will give you a clear picture of what is going on. Once you get a definitive diagnosis you can try to find a therapist that can work woth you and her.</p><p></p><p>I would like a to say that it gets better. For us, things changed when we made the decision to medicate our son when he was 12. My husband was against it (and I think he still is), but I told him he had no choice. I was the one who was home with him all the time, and I was the one who struggled with the behavior problems. I was medicating. Is it perfect? No. And I've had to come to terms with the fact that it never will be. It's a hard truth to face. But it was better. The violence and aggression have decreased, but he's still a mouthy little snot. He still thinks that he's my equal, rather than I'm the mother and he's the child. He feels he doesn't have to follow the rules, but that he can make the rules for everyone else (including me!!) to follow.</p><p></p><p>I was told my many people along the way that it was all my fault. If I was a better parent. If I knew how to mother him properly. For. Long time I bought into that, but then someone told me that if I was really a bad mother Easy Child would be put of control, too, and he's not. He's a "normal" 11 year old kid. It's not your fault any more that my son's problems are my fault. Don't listen to people who tell you that. It will only bring you down, and you have enough on your plate.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 659669, member: 15810"] You have just described my life with my 16 year old son. I love him, but don't always like him. And, in truth, sometimes I don't really even like him. Have you thought about getting her evaluated by a neuropsychiatrist? It's long testing (hours, usually done over a few days), but it will give you a clear picture of what is going on. Once you get a definitive diagnosis you can try to find a therapist that can work woth you and her. I would like a to say that it gets better. For us, things changed when we made the decision to medicate our son when he was 12. My husband was against it (and I think he still is), but I told him he had no choice. I was the one who was home with him all the time, and I was the one who struggled with the behavior problems. I was medicating. Is it perfect? No. And I've had to come to terms with the fact that it never will be. It's a hard truth to face. But it was better. The violence and aggression have decreased, but he's still a mouthy little snot. He still thinks that he's my equal, rather than I'm the mother and he's the child. He feels he doesn't have to follow the rules, but that he can make the rules for everyone else (including me!!) to follow. I was told my many people along the way that it was all my fault. If I was a better parent. If I knew how to mother him properly. For. Long time I bought into that, but then someone told me that if I was really a bad mother Easy Child would be put of control, too, and he's not. He's a "normal" 11 year old kid. It's not your fault any more that my son's problems are my fault. Don't listen to people who tell you that. It will only bring you down, and you have enough on your plate. [/QUOTE]
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