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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 649814" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Absolutely, I remember when we first started having problems, my son was 14 and in hindsight it probably started earlier, I could not believe what was happening. I think I must have operated on auto pilot by throwing myself into my daily routine of working, cooking dinner, doing laundry, all those "normal things" to give myself a sense of normalcy hoping that what was happening with my son was a "phase". Slowly I came to the realization that it was not a phase, this was my life.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I understand what you mean. I know there is a disconnect that happened a long time ago. Of course, I will always be his mother and will have a mothers love for him but so much has happened and too many years have passed that the disconnect was inevitable. I have friends that have close loving relationships with their sons and I quietly watch the interaction and am really unable to comprehend it but am in awe of it. I do not harbor any feelings of jealousy, I am truly happy for them. I would not wish what I have endured with my son on anyone. My son is my one and only child so I have no other children to compare what a loving relationship would look or feel like, I have just simply accepted it for what it is and isn't.</p><p></p><p></p><p>That was me only it was my bedroom door. We had to put a lock on our bedroom door because our son would help himself to whatever he wanted out of our room, mainly money. I came home one day to find a hammer laying on the floor and hole about a foot wide in our bedroom door. Burning that door was very therapeutic.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, I got a good laugh thinking of you riding your Harley, you of course in the lead with a mustache no less.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Lucy, I can only imagine how hard it must have been to watch that interview. Your analogy of the puzzle make so much sense, it really gives a clear picture of how our Difficult Child can distort reality. Of course those "blank" parts of the puzzle are the pieces we hold, they are the pieces of truth.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 649814, member: 18516"] Absolutely, I remember when we first started having problems, my son was 14 and in hindsight it probably started earlier, I could not believe what was happening. I think I must have operated on auto pilot by throwing myself into my daily routine of working, cooking dinner, doing laundry, all those "normal things" to give myself a sense of normalcy hoping that what was happening with my son was a "phase". Slowly I came to the realization that it was not a phase, this was my life. I understand what you mean. I know there is a disconnect that happened a long time ago. Of course, I will always be his mother and will have a mothers love for him but so much has happened and too many years have passed that the disconnect was inevitable. I have friends that have close loving relationships with their sons and I quietly watch the interaction and am really unable to comprehend it but am in awe of it. I do not harbor any feelings of jealousy, I am truly happy for them. I would not wish what I have endured with my son on anyone. My son is my one and only child so I have no other children to compare what a loving relationship would look or feel like, I have just simply accepted it for what it is and isn't. That was me only it was my bedroom door. We had to put a lock on our bedroom door because our son would help himself to whatever he wanted out of our room, mainly money. I came home one day to find a hammer laying on the floor and hole about a foot wide in our bedroom door. Burning that door was very therapeutic. Cedar, I got a good laugh thinking of you riding your Harley, you of course in the lead with a mustache no less. Lucy, I can only imagine how hard it must have been to watch that interview. Your analogy of the puzzle make so much sense, it really gives a clear picture of how our Difficult Child can distort reality. Of course those "blank" parts of the puzzle are the pieces we hold, they are the pieces of truth. [/QUOTE]
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