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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 667754" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I love this. Feeling overwhelmed, and acknowledging that, and wanting to be clean for you when you do see him.</p><p></p><p>This is empathy, from him for you, and from him, to himself. He is engaging in self care here, Echo.</p><p></p><p>That's a pretty big deal, I think. </p><p></p><p>Acknowledging he will feel calmer in future, that he wants your support, but doesn't need you to comfort him through this part...that is the thinking of someone taking things seriously, of someone thinking things through. He has matured through this experience, Echo.</p><p></p><p>A blessing then, in disguise.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Because knowing how another mom would frame the imagery most supportive for her child would help me Echo, these were the thoughts that came for me:</p><p></p><p>Steady state; quiet affection, not gushing or too-bright smiling; grateful and proud for him that he made this choice, that he has given himself this chance; grateful and proud for yourself and his family, that he made the choice you all were hoping he would.</p><p></p><p>And that's it.</p><p></p><p>And, "Help".</p><p></p><p>And after that, just as much presence to the moment where you are, and where he is, as I could manage.</p><p></p><p>That this happened, that he made this choice and is handling it so well with the empathy and self care, that would definitely be the "Wow" of Anne Lamott's prayer.</p><p></p><p>So, we will just keep our hearts firmly on the "Help!" aspect of things, and maybe, one day in the future, we will get to the "Thanks" part.</p><p></p><p>I am so pleased for him, Echo!</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 667754, member: 17461"] I love this. Feeling overwhelmed, and acknowledging that, and wanting to be clean for you when you do see him. This is empathy, from him for you, and from him, to himself. He is engaging in self care here, Echo. That's a pretty big deal, I think. Acknowledging he will feel calmer in future, that he wants your support, but doesn't need you to comfort him through this part...that is the thinking of someone taking things seriously, of someone thinking things through. He has matured through this experience, Echo. A blessing then, in disguise. Because knowing how another mom would frame the imagery most supportive for her child would help me Echo, these were the thoughts that came for me: Steady state; quiet affection, not gushing or too-bright smiling; grateful and proud for him that he made this choice, that he has given himself this chance; grateful and proud for yourself and his family, that he made the choice you all were hoping he would. And that's it. And, "Help". And after that, just as much presence to the moment where you are, and where he is, as I could manage. That this happened, that he made this choice and is handling it so well with the empathy and self care, that would definitely be the "Wow" of Anne Lamott's prayer. So, we will just keep our hearts firmly on the "Help!" aspect of things, and maybe, one day in the future, we will get to the "Thanks" part. I am so pleased for him, Echo! :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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