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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 346453" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I read it all- and you have really been carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders. Have you ever discussed any of the history with a counselor? It might help- I don't know you could have avoided PTSD- not to mention the damage to your psyche from how your parents handled things. I understand- I went thru similar, as you prbably know- and my mother's reaction was "how could YOU (me) do this to ME (her). Never mind that she was the one who brought the man to live there with us. BUt back to the point, it is very common for families to treat the young girl that way after something like that happens, sadly. And with everything else going on around you lately, it's no wonder that you feel this from a lot of people- but sometimes it's kind of an extension of the original, horrid event that never got dealt with appropriately. Not that they aren't real situations- they are- we just somehow get stuck in them over and over.</p><p></p><p>My guess is that you've hit overload and a lot of it has to do with your first son's father popping up in his life and saying that- I can see something like that happening in my son's life someday, too. I don't really know how I'll handle it if it actually does happen, but right now I look at it like even though I have no one to vouch for my side of the story either, I have always told difficult child the truth about the situation (age appropriately) and difficult child knows what kind of person I am so difficult child will have to weigh things himself and hopefully, he will conclude that I did not prevent a willing and loving father from being in his life- as painful as that truth is.</p><p></p><p>As far as tonight- go for it, girl! Do whatever you want! Just remember, there will be a tomorrow.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 346453, member: 3699"] I read it all- and you have really been carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders. Have you ever discussed any of the history with a counselor? It might help- I don't know you could have avoided PTSD- not to mention the damage to your psyche from how your parents handled things. I understand- I went thru similar, as you prbably know- and my mother's reaction was "how could YOU (me) do this to ME (her). Never mind that she was the one who brought the man to live there with us. BUt back to the point, it is very common for families to treat the young girl that way after something like that happens, sadly. And with everything else going on around you lately, it's no wonder that you feel this from a lot of people- but sometimes it's kind of an extension of the original, horrid event that never got dealt with appropriately. Not that they aren't real situations- they are- we just somehow get stuck in them over and over. My guess is that you've hit overload and a lot of it has to do with your first son's father popping up in his life and saying that- I can see something like that happening in my son's life someday, too. I don't really know how I'll handle it if it actually does happen, but right now I look at it like even though I have no one to vouch for my side of the story either, I have always told difficult child the truth about the situation (age appropriately) and difficult child knows what kind of person I am so difficult child will have to weigh things himself and hopefully, he will conclude that I did not prevent a willing and loving father from being in his life- as painful as that truth is. As far as tonight- go for it, girl! Do whatever you want! Just remember, there will be a tomorrow. [/QUOTE]
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