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The Watercooler
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 346470" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>Shari -</p><p></p><p>I have a hundred thoughts running through my head, but I think the big one is: doing what is right doesn't mean you have to accept abuse or mistreatment from others.</p><p></p><p>You carry this huge burden of doing what is right for everyone else, except they're not interested in what's right. I think it's common for those of us with a traumatic past to have a profound sense of right and wrong. And I think there is some psychology to doing what is right because it is somehow going to fix everything - show everyone that we're worth something - that we're good people - that we're not screw ups or a failure - to provide some kind of validation. But, it doesn't. And everytime we get shot down, or blamed, or accused, or whatever, it just kinda reinforces the need to keep doing it. And it makes the frustration worse and brings those old wounds back up front.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if I'm making any sense. </p><p></p><p>The thing is - most people want what they want and they're not interested in if it's right or not. The only thing you can do is be who you are. The people that matter will appreciate you for who you are; and the rest don't matter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 346470, member: 7083"] Shari - I have a hundred thoughts running through my head, but I think the big one is: doing what is right doesn't mean you have to accept abuse or mistreatment from others. You carry this huge burden of doing what is right for everyone else, except they're not interested in what's right. I think it's common for those of us with a traumatic past to have a profound sense of right and wrong. And I think there is some psychology to doing what is right because it is somehow going to fix everything - show everyone that we're worth something - that we're good people - that we're not screw ups or a failure - to provide some kind of validation. But, it doesn't. And everytime we get shot down, or blamed, or accused, or whatever, it just kinda reinforces the need to keep doing it. And it makes the frustration worse and brings those old wounds back up front. I don't know if I'm making any sense. The thing is - most people want what they want and they're not interested in if it's right or not. The only thing you can do is be who you are. The people that matter will appreciate you for who you are; and the rest don't matter. [/QUOTE]
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