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ok i give......i need some serious advice
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<blockquote data-quote="'Chelle" data-source="post: 133037" data-attributes="member: 1161"><p>With my difficult child and all his deep dislike of school and anything related, I agree with Marg. Let school consequences fall where they may. I make sure difficult child gets to school, the rest is pretty much up to him and the school. Don't do your homework or study etc., you fail. You fail, you get held back, while all your friends move on. My difficult child hates to fail at anything so he does enough to pass at least LOL. I support him etc. where I can, but I always say I can't even force him to hold a pencil, how can you force him to do the work. You can't make them care and you can't force them to do it. We had the homework wars in grade 4/5, I'm done with that.</p><p></p><p>In any thing I feel is important, his world stops until he's compliant. Don't want to do what you should, you sit in your room all day doing nothing (except school work if he has any at home and bathroom breaks, eats there alone as well). I take away all electronics, phone etc. If he says anything like you can't take the xbox that was a xmas present and mine, I just tell him the power to run it is mine and if I have to I'll cut the breaker to his room. Doesn't shut off power to anything important like the fridge or furnace, so it works. I also tell him that until he's 18 anything in the house is mine and present to him or not he has/uses it only with my consent, I can take it and garbage it at any time. I haven't had to do this in a long time now, he's learned I will and how boring a day of doing absolutely nothing is, and he's pretty compliant with that. He actually usually does his homework without fuss as well. Don't know if that would work for you, getting him to stay in his room the first couple times was a chore.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /></p><p></p><p>I would definitely take the phone from her room, and limit her time on it. It's costing you too much and she's not being responsible enough to limit her own time. I liked Fran's saying of Do to get. The phone and computer are probably most important to her right now, she'd have to do what she needs to to get use of them, such as be respectful to you, do enough work at school to pass etc.</p><p></p><p>Don't know about the lying and disappearing, I've never had to deal with that. The only lie my difficult child has told is that he isn't poking/bugging his sister and I know he is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="'Chelle, post: 133037, member: 1161"] With my difficult child and all his deep dislike of school and anything related, I agree with Marg. Let school consequences fall where they may. I make sure difficult child gets to school, the rest is pretty much up to him and the school. Don't do your homework or study etc., you fail. You fail, you get held back, while all your friends move on. My difficult child hates to fail at anything so he does enough to pass at least LOL. I support him etc. where I can, but I always say I can't even force him to hold a pencil, how can you force him to do the work. You can't make them care and you can't force them to do it. We had the homework wars in grade 4/5, I'm done with that. In any thing I feel is important, his world stops until he's compliant. Don't want to do what you should, you sit in your room all day doing nothing (except school work if he has any at home and bathroom breaks, eats there alone as well). I take away all electronics, phone etc. If he says anything like you can't take the xbox that was a xmas present and mine, I just tell him the power to run it is mine and if I have to I'll cut the breaker to his room. Doesn't shut off power to anything important like the fridge or furnace, so it works. I also tell him that until he's 18 anything in the house is mine and present to him or not he has/uses it only with my consent, I can take it and garbage it at any time. I haven't had to do this in a long time now, he's learned I will and how boring a day of doing absolutely nothing is, and he's pretty compliant with that. He actually usually does his homework without fuss as well. Don't know if that would work for you, getting him to stay in his room the first couple times was a chore.:knockedout: I would definitely take the phone from her room, and limit her time on it. It's costing you too much and she's not being responsible enough to limit her own time. I liked Fran's saying of Do to get. The phone and computer are probably most important to her right now, she'd have to do what she needs to to get use of them, such as be respectful to you, do enough work at school to pass etc. Don't know about the lying and disappearing, I've never had to deal with that. The only lie my difficult child has told is that he isn't poking/bugging his sister and I know he is. [/QUOTE]
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