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ok i give......i need some serious advice
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<blockquote data-quote="JustOneMoreTry" data-source="post: 133059" data-attributes="member: 4290"><p>Hello</p><p></p><p>I have the exact same daughter, only one year older. Doesn't care about anything - including school. Everyone else on here is absolutely right - let school take care of school stuff.</p><p></p><p>I had one of those big meetings at school too. I sat and listened and by difficult child came in and gave her side and cried and they all bought that she would do a daily report and really try now....blah blah blah. The counselor told me that the teachers were really encouraged by this - I told the counselor that the teachers are really naive. I was right.</p><p></p><p>Mostly I wanted to address how you are feeling. I understand completely - I was in the same place. Couldn't function - losing many days at work. Trying everything, blaming myself, making everyone else around me nuts. Nothing worked - you know why - cause she didn't want it to work. She is not willing to try - and cares only about herself.</p><p></p><p>So, I gave up. Most likely not the most popular choice - but had to do it for my health, my GFGSS and my husband. We were all depressed, angry, crabby and irritable. How was GFGSD - fine! Cause she was doing what she wanted. Finally, I sat son and hubby down and said - this is nuts - she comes in, does/says something nasty - we all get upset - she leaves - and doesn't give us another thought - except that she created havoc.</p><p></p><p>If she leaves without telling us, we call the police. If it is after curfew - she gets ticketed. (Eventually she will end up in Juvie) School deals with school issues. We lock up everything in the house and try not to leave her alone if possible (but we have to work - so...). The final straw was when she called me a f.....b..... She is now going to go live with her bio-mom come fall - cause it was one-step out of bounds too many. (This is Dad's decision - I am still trying to be strong about it...)</p><p> </p><p>You may not have the final solution that I have - but remember - take care of you - pick your battles. And most importantly - she isn't concerned with how you feel - so you have to take care of how you feel. Step-back. She is going to make her own choices - let her have the consequences for them. It is an act of lunancy to continually try to help/save someone who wants neither to be helped or saved - especially by Mom. Sad to face - but true. </p><p></p><p>Think of how many times she has made everyone nuts then left - to come back all sweet and fine - but you are still upset/depressed. How many times does she turn on the charm when she wants something - just to turn it off again when she gets it.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and prayers to you - and take care of you - she is taking care of herself!!!</p><p></p><p>Cyndi</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JustOneMoreTry, post: 133059, member: 4290"] Hello I have the exact same daughter, only one year older. Doesn't care about anything - including school. Everyone else on here is absolutely right - let school take care of school stuff. I had one of those big meetings at school too. I sat and listened and by difficult child came in and gave her side and cried and they all bought that she would do a daily report and really try now....blah blah blah. The counselor told me that the teachers were really encouraged by this - I told the counselor that the teachers are really naive. I was right. Mostly I wanted to address how you are feeling. I understand completely - I was in the same place. Couldn't function - losing many days at work. Trying everything, blaming myself, making everyone else around me nuts. Nothing worked - you know why - cause she didn't want it to work. She is not willing to try - and cares only about herself. So, I gave up. Most likely not the most popular choice - but had to do it for my health, my GFGSS and my husband. We were all depressed, angry, crabby and irritable. How was GFGSD - fine! Cause she was doing what she wanted. Finally, I sat son and hubby down and said - this is nuts - she comes in, does/says something nasty - we all get upset - she leaves - and doesn't give us another thought - except that she created havoc. If she leaves without telling us, we call the police. If it is after curfew - she gets ticketed. (Eventually she will end up in Juvie) School deals with school issues. We lock up everything in the house and try not to leave her alone if possible (but we have to work - so...). The final straw was when she called me a f.....b..... She is now going to go live with her bio-mom come fall - cause it was one-step out of bounds too many. (This is Dad's decision - I am still trying to be strong about it...) You may not have the final solution that I have - but remember - take care of you - pick your battles. And most importantly - she isn't concerned with how you feel - so you have to take care of how you feel. Step-back. She is going to make her own choices - let her have the consequences for them. It is an act of lunancy to continually try to help/save someone who wants neither to be helped or saved - especially by Mom. Sad to face - but true. Think of how many times she has made everyone nuts then left - to come back all sweet and fine - but you are still upset/depressed. How many times does she turn on the charm when she wants something - just to turn it off again when she gets it. Hugs and prayers to you - and take care of you - she is taking care of herself!!! Cyndi [/QUOTE]
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