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ok i give......i need some serious advice
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 133268" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>Jennifer,</p><p> </p><p>word of caution - don't overwhelm her with all the rules and changes at one time. You will only "set her off".</p><p> </p><p>I agree that removing the computer as punishment is a great idea! It's one I've used on both my children! As far as the phone, remove the long distance on your home phone. If both you and boyfriend have cells, there is no need to have long distance on the home phone. Also just wondering who she is calling to rack up that many bills?</p><p> </p><p>I totally agree wtih the school stuff. Let the teachers handle it and let her pay the consequences for not doing what is required. If she ends up with bad grades and detention, so be it.</p><p> </p><p>With the dinner, I would just let her know casually that dinner is at 6:30 (or whatever). If she comes in, other than from a school function that you ahve approved, after that, she's on her own. I wouldn't deny her the ability to get something to eat, I would just have the consequence be that she's on her own.</p><p> </p><p>In regards to locking her out, watch out for that. I'm not sure, but it may very well be illegal for you to lock out your 14 year old. </p><p> </p><p>Just wondering how she is getting away with all the truancy? If she is missing that much school, haven't you gotten called in for a hearing or something? I know that both difficult child's and easy child's school call the house if the kids don't show up for school. And, they are both in different school districts.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps she is just leaving school after it starts? I've never understood that. How do kids get away with just leaving the school campus? Doesn't anyone see them leaving?</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, hope the new rules will work out for you. My biggest suggestion would be to start slow and not bombard her with all the changes at one time. It will be so overwhelming for her that she is unlikely to comply with any of them and then you will just be playing cop rather than parent.</p><p> </p><p>Take every opportunity you can to talk to her mother to daughter. If things begin to get hairy, STOP. Don't buy into her attitude and don't further your frustration by stepping down to her level. If you have to, turn and just leave the room. Don't engage. She'll get the point eventually.</p><p> </p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 133268, member: 805"] Jennifer, word of caution - don't overwhelm her with all the rules and changes at one time. You will only "set her off". I agree that removing the computer as punishment is a great idea! It's one I've used on both my children! As far as the phone, remove the long distance on your home phone. If both you and boyfriend have cells, there is no need to have long distance on the home phone. Also just wondering who she is calling to rack up that many bills? I totally agree wtih the school stuff. Let the teachers handle it and let her pay the consequences for not doing what is required. If she ends up with bad grades and detention, so be it. With the dinner, I would just let her know casually that dinner is at 6:30 (or whatever). If she comes in, other than from a school function that you ahve approved, after that, she's on her own. I wouldn't deny her the ability to get something to eat, I would just have the consequence be that she's on her own. In regards to locking her out, watch out for that. I'm not sure, but it may very well be illegal for you to lock out your 14 year old. Just wondering how she is getting away with all the truancy? If she is missing that much school, haven't you gotten called in for a hearing or something? I know that both difficult child's and easy child's school call the house if the kids don't show up for school. And, they are both in different school districts. Perhaps she is just leaving school after it starts? I've never understood that. How do kids get away with just leaving the school campus? Doesn't anyone see them leaving? Anyway, hope the new rules will work out for you. My biggest suggestion would be to start slow and not bombard her with all the changes at one time. It will be so overwhelming for her that she is unlikely to comply with any of them and then you will just be playing cop rather than parent. Take every opportunity you can to talk to her mother to daughter. If things begin to get hairy, STOP. Don't buy into her attitude and don't further your frustration by stepping down to her level. If you have to, turn and just leave the room. Don't engage. She'll get the point eventually. Sharon [/QUOTE]
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