I agree with HH--concentrate on your poor wife today, forget the kid. She really needs you.
I remember back when Emily was a young teen and I would get upset and cry in front of her and show my weakness. That just gave her power over me and did not help at all. I hope your wife will come to the point where she isn't begging your son--not healthy at all. He needs a firm, strong mom, not someone he knows he has the power to make or break.
Hang in there--sounds like the blinders are coming off--it is hard but it also helps to be able to see your kid more clearly.
Hugs,
Jane