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OK - really????
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 412160" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Steely, that is really good news. I hope you have a really great visit with them, have some happy times. That is very possible, even in these circumstances. Just BE. Don't try to create memories, just accept what there is. And make your mother the occasional cup of coffee, or a meal, so she can also just sit with him and BE. </p><p></p><p>Be happy. Spend the time with love. Forget the past. That is where it belongs - the past. They are the products of their own tragedies and upbringings, you can't change that. All you can do is take yourself forward and do a better job with yourself than they did. Go as an adult, as someone who wants to share some good time together while you can. If he wants to talk, let him. Tape record him talking if you can. Ask him about his childhood, get him talking (if he can). Just chat. Do the "remember when?" stuff. And when you're both out of his room, give your mother a hug.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 412160, member: 1991"] Steely, that is really good news. I hope you have a really great visit with them, have some happy times. That is very possible, even in these circumstances. Just BE. Don't try to create memories, just accept what there is. And make your mother the occasional cup of coffee, or a meal, so she can also just sit with him and BE. Be happy. Spend the time with love. Forget the past. That is where it belongs - the past. They are the products of their own tragedies and upbringings, you can't change that. All you can do is take yourself forward and do a better job with yourself than they did. Go as an adult, as someone who wants to share some good time together while you can. If he wants to talk, let him. Tape record him talking if you can. Ask him about his childhood, get him talking (if he can). Just chat. Do the "remember when?" stuff. And when you're both out of his room, give your mother a hug. Marg [/QUOTE]
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