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Ok, so I went to the DV shelter today
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<blockquote data-quote="feelinalone" data-source="post: 136314" data-attributes="member: 4701"><p>I finally changed my signature to better reflect the situation. Sorry, I kept forgetting to do that!</p><p> </p><p>He's an angry boy. He has a lot to be angry about. He has a lot of control issues. His life circumstances are out of his control. He wants to be "the man of the house". His awareness of himself, our situation and the rest of the world is increasing with age. Once he does something, he knows he can do it again. He's very smart and very determined. Once he realized acting out at school would get him sent home, he did it more. When they tried not to send him home for every little thing AFTER he learned he could get sent home, he escalated until they caved and called me. When his mind is set, he's going all the way. He seems to derive "pleasure" in attaining his goals through violence or manipulative cunning vs. earning things through appropriate behaviors and following directions.</p><p> </p><p>He can also tell you why he shouldn't do the things he does, how he should do things differently, and apologizes for his behavior. Is any of it sincere? That's debatable.</p><p> </p><p>I know that he needs to work on control issues more. I feel he needs to learn a degree of "fear" that is healthy in human beings. I think he needs to learn to chanel his energies, determination and intelligence into worthwhile goals/hobbies. I think he needs to learn more empathy---and this isn't to say he's never had it, just that he seems to have "lost" it somewhere along the way! He used to LOVE being helpful and used to enjoy making other people happy --still does sometimes. It seems he regressed in the area of egocentrism. Everything has become about him. He wants attention, and a lot of it. He suffocates me when he's not attacking me (I mean his neediness, not literal suffocation!). He needs to find "peace" with dad being in prison, however in the world that can be achieved, if at all possible. He needs male role models. He needs more people and activities in his life period, though he doesn't realize the little that is available to us is pushed away by his behavior.</p><p> </p><p>I could go on, but I'll leave it at that for now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="feelinalone, post: 136314, member: 4701"] I finally changed my signature to better reflect the situation. Sorry, I kept forgetting to do that! He's an angry boy. He has a lot to be angry about. He has a lot of control issues. His life circumstances are out of his control. He wants to be "the man of the house". His awareness of himself, our situation and the rest of the world is increasing with age. Once he does something, he knows he can do it again. He's very smart and very determined. Once he realized acting out at school would get him sent home, he did it more. When they tried not to send him home for every little thing AFTER he learned he could get sent home, he escalated until they caved and called me. When his mind is set, he's going all the way. He seems to derive "pleasure" in attaining his goals through violence or manipulative cunning vs. earning things through appropriate behaviors and following directions. He can also tell you why he shouldn't do the things he does, how he should do things differently, and apologizes for his behavior. Is any of it sincere? That's debatable. I know that he needs to work on control issues more. I feel he needs to learn a degree of "fear" that is healthy in human beings. I think he needs to learn to chanel his energies, determination and intelligence into worthwhile goals/hobbies. I think he needs to learn more empathy---and this isn't to say he's never had it, just that he seems to have "lost" it somewhere along the way! He used to LOVE being helpful and used to enjoy making other people happy --still does sometimes. It seems he regressed in the area of egocentrism. Everything has become about him. He wants attention, and a lot of it. He suffocates me when he's not attacking me (I mean his neediness, not literal suffocation!). He needs to find "peace" with dad being in prison, however in the world that can be achieved, if at all possible. He needs male role models. He needs more people and activities in his life period, though he doesn't realize the little that is available to us is pushed away by his behavior. I could go on, but I'll leave it at that for now. [/QUOTE]
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Ok, so I went to the DV shelter today
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