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OK you PE-ers... need help with- balance
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 35536" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>I think the hardest thing to do is separate who we are from who they are, or from who they seem to be becoming, if that makes any sense.</p><p></p><p>Even now for me, that is such a hard thing. </p><p></p><p>If you can remember that, whatever thank you says to you, you are still his mother and what he is doing is gauging your reaction to who he chooses to be today, I think it will be easier for you to understand how to respond.</p><p></p><p>It's so hard to do that, though.</p><p></p><p>We need to remember that it is okay to give ourselves time to figure out how we DO feel about things we have just never thought about.</p><p></p><p>How could you plan a correct response to a child's interest in spellcasting or dark music?</p><p></p><p>In a way, whatever interest has drawn thank you to these things can be seen as questions he is finding answers to there ~ trying out the black clothes thing, trying out the spellcasting thing, trying out the dark music.</p><p></p><p>If you can figure out how you truly do feel about these things, you will feel like you are on solid ground when you advise thank you or decide to let a thing go.</p><p></p><p>When I look back on everything, there was just so much that I never expected and so, had no clue how to respond to.</p><p></p><p>Maybe that is why I beat myself up so much today.</p><p></p><p>If you haven't read The Little Prince (St. Exupery) yet, try to pick that up and have a look at it. He describes the feeling of responsibility that comes from caring for a thing, and the feelings of betrayal when the thing (a rose in this case) turns out to be its own self. The moral of the story is that we should never listen to the flowers, but simply enjoy their scent and color.</p><p></p><p>So in a way, it describes a parent's feeling for her child, and teaches us how to let go of expectation.</p><p></p><p>I found it helpful in clarifying my own muddled feelings.</p><p></p><p>But you know I still have trouble setting my own clear path through what has happened.</p><p></p><p>Still, I would read The Little Prince.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 35536, member: 3353"] I think the hardest thing to do is separate who we are from who they are, or from who they seem to be becoming, if that makes any sense. Even now for me, that is such a hard thing. If you can remember that, whatever thank you says to you, you are still his mother and what he is doing is gauging your reaction to who he chooses to be today, I think it will be easier for you to understand how to respond. It's so hard to do that, though. We need to remember that it is okay to give ourselves time to figure out how we DO feel about things we have just never thought about. How could you plan a correct response to a child's interest in spellcasting or dark music? In a way, whatever interest has drawn thank you to these things can be seen as questions he is finding answers to there ~ trying out the black clothes thing, trying out the spellcasting thing, trying out the dark music. If you can figure out how you truly do feel about these things, you will feel like you are on solid ground when you advise thank you or decide to let a thing go. When I look back on everything, there was just so much that I never expected and so, had no clue how to respond to. Maybe that is why I beat myself up so much today. If you haven't read The Little Prince (St. Exupery) yet, try to pick that up and have a look at it. He describes the feeling of responsibility that comes from caring for a thing, and the feelings of betrayal when the thing (a rose in this case) turns out to be its own self. The moral of the story is that we should never listen to the flowers, but simply enjoy their scent and color. So in a way, it describes a parent's feeling for her child, and teaches us how to let go of expectation. I found it helpful in clarifying my own muddled feelings. But you know I still have trouble setting my own clear path through what has happened. Still, I would read The Little Prince. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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