Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Old boyfriend still obsessed?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 103187" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Thankfully he currently lives interstate. And he IS in regular contact with difficult child 1's old school buddy/best friend.</p><p></p><p>I have no problems with him making money from his animation - not even much of a problem with him drawing pictures of easy child 2/difficult child 2. And as a writer myself, I do recognise that NOTHING we write, is original, all of it comes from within our own tortured souls (something which worries difficult child 1, he says, when he reads some of my horror stories).</p><p></p><p>What has me mostly concerned, is the DEGREE to which this seems to be a publicly played-out fantasy CLEARLY involving easy child 2/difficult child 2 (I mean, he could have at least changed her hair colour, and her life story!) and himself as love interest/protector. The relationship as described in the comic is unhealthy, but it reads as if the author himself sees it as normal. The girl in the story is a cutter, is at times suicidal (which I don't think easy child 2/difficult child 2 ever has been) and interestingly, plays the same mind games he always played on her. His character seems to be reading things into her character's behaviour that are 'leading him on' or 'deliberately torturing him'. NEVER her style in real life, but it is as if that is how he sees her now.</p><p></p><p>The degree here smacks of total obsession, rather than "I am basing this character loosely on a pretty girl I once knew and loved."</p><p>They broke up two years ago. I heard he had a girlfriend since. Why isn't he drawing her? In this comic, there are only two main characters, it's not as if she's a minor character appearing somewhere in the background. Even the clothes worn by this character - her own created fashion designs.</p><p></p><p>Despite his faults, I quite liked the guy. I didn't want him for a life partner for her since we could see how he hurt her, but he really didn't know any better, he had no frame of reference for a normal relationship. "Go away and practice on someone else," was how we felt about the break-up. I'm concerned for his health, I think of him like a good friend of my son's - which he is - I don't think he would hurt her physically, but what of the future?</p><p></p><p>I might ask difficult child 1 to express to him my concerns for him, next time they meet (usually when he comes to Sydney for the conventions - something he really will be wanting to do to promote his comics). I won't be specific, and I don't want to ban him from using anybody he wants as a template for his characters, but he should (as a writer) be using a TEMPLATE, not using real people. You should disguise them, if you use real people. Change their gender, change their physical characteristics, turn it into fiction, after all. I've written stuff using characters strongly based on people I know, but nobody has ever come close to recognising themselves.</p><p></p><p>At this stage, Issue 1, the story is barely fleshed out. Already it's very dark. I'm hoping it doesn't progress into the more porn version of manga, which it very well could.</p><p></p><p>We do have protection orders here, but it would take a lot more than this. At least he doesn't carry weapons - doesn't really need to, he's a very imposing figure physically. Also into martial arts (it figures) but not in any really heavy way.</p><p></p><p>We will watch and keep our ears to the ground. I think I'll get difficult child 1 to ask his friend to tell him when exBF is visiting Sydney "so we can catch up and hang out together". That way we can warn easy child 2/difficult child 2 where he will be so she can avoid him.</p><p></p><p>If he becomes a problem by contacting her, "dropping in" to see her at work (or anywhere else) and she asks him not to and he keeps doing it, THEN we can do something, and THEN the comic book could easily be used to demonstrate the possibility of an unhealthy obsession. But on its own - not enough, I don't think. Not with our laws.</p><p></p><p>But I am going to really watch for future issues, to see what he writes and to make sure that if it gets any darker, life is not going to imitate art.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 103187, member: 1991"] Thankfully he currently lives interstate. And he IS in regular contact with difficult child 1's old school buddy/best friend. I have no problems with him making money from his animation - not even much of a problem with him drawing pictures of easy child 2/difficult child 2. And as a writer myself, I do recognise that NOTHING we write, is original, all of it comes from within our own tortured souls (something which worries difficult child 1, he says, when he reads some of my horror stories). What has me mostly concerned, is the DEGREE to which this seems to be a publicly played-out fantasy CLEARLY involving easy child 2/difficult child 2 (I mean, he could have at least changed her hair colour, and her life story!) and himself as love interest/protector. The relationship as described in the comic is unhealthy, but it reads as if the author himself sees it as normal. The girl in the story is a cutter, is at times suicidal (which I don't think easy child 2/difficult child 2 ever has been) and interestingly, plays the same mind games he always played on her. His character seems to be reading things into her character's behaviour that are 'leading him on' or 'deliberately torturing him'. NEVER her style in real life, but it is as if that is how he sees her now. The degree here smacks of total obsession, rather than "I am basing this character loosely on a pretty girl I once knew and loved." They broke up two years ago. I heard he had a girlfriend since. Why isn't he drawing her? In this comic, there are only two main characters, it's not as if she's a minor character appearing somewhere in the background. Even the clothes worn by this character - her own created fashion designs. Despite his faults, I quite liked the guy. I didn't want him for a life partner for her since we could see how he hurt her, but he really didn't know any better, he had no frame of reference for a normal relationship. "Go away and practice on someone else," was how we felt about the break-up. I'm concerned for his health, I think of him like a good friend of my son's - which he is - I don't think he would hurt her physically, but what of the future? I might ask difficult child 1 to express to him my concerns for him, next time they meet (usually when he comes to Sydney for the conventions - something he really will be wanting to do to promote his comics). I won't be specific, and I don't want to ban him from using anybody he wants as a template for his characters, but he should (as a writer) be using a TEMPLATE, not using real people. You should disguise them, if you use real people. Change their gender, change their physical characteristics, turn it into fiction, after all. I've written stuff using characters strongly based on people I know, but nobody has ever come close to recognising themselves. At this stage, Issue 1, the story is barely fleshed out. Already it's very dark. I'm hoping it doesn't progress into the more porn version of manga, which it very well could. We do have protection orders here, but it would take a lot more than this. At least he doesn't carry weapons - doesn't really need to, he's a very imposing figure physically. Also into martial arts (it figures) but not in any really heavy way. We will watch and keep our ears to the ground. I think I'll get difficult child 1 to ask his friend to tell him when exBF is visiting Sydney "so we can catch up and hang out together". That way we can warn easy child 2/difficult child 2 where he will be so she can avoid him. If he becomes a problem by contacting her, "dropping in" to see her at work (or anywhere else) and she asks him not to and he keeps doing it, THEN we can do something, and THEN the comic book could easily be used to demonstrate the possibility of an unhealthy obsession. But on its own - not enough, I don't think. Not with our laws. But I am going to really watch for future issues, to see what he writes and to make sure that if it gets any darker, life is not going to imitate art. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Old boyfriend still obsessed?
Top