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Parent Emeritus
OMG, his plan is to return here...
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 657645" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I don't think there is a one size fits all answer to this.</p><p></p><p>I think there are times that they do want to hurt us deliberately. I think this comes from the "child" in them, the one that always counts on mommy or daddy to make everything ok and when we don't they lash out. When we gain enough strength to start saying no to their requests, they play on our emotions, they know where the soft spots are. This is when they ramp it up and make those desperate pleas; they are going to starve or freeze to death, or they threaten suicide. They are hurting so they want us to hurt with them since we are not going to "make it all better"</p><p></p><p>Then, there are drugs that alter their thinking and personalities. They lash out at us because they are high or because they are coming down and crashing.</p><p></p><p>There's also mental illness, where they are not keenly aware of the harm and hurt they cause.</p><p></p><p>Which ever one a Difficult Child is operating from does not make it any easier when we the parent are on the receiving end of their hurtfulness. We have to develop a skin of armor to deflect what they can throw at us. We have to do what we can to guard our hearts as to not let what they say or do pierce them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 657645, member: 18516"] I don't think there is a one size fits all answer to this. I think there are times that they do want to hurt us deliberately. I think this comes from the "child" in them, the one that always counts on mommy or daddy to make everything ok and when we don't they lash out. When we gain enough strength to start saying no to their requests, they play on our emotions, they know where the soft spots are. This is when they ramp it up and make those desperate pleas; they are going to starve or freeze to death, or they threaten suicide. They are hurting so they want us to hurt with them since we are not going to "make it all better" Then, there are drugs that alter their thinking and personalities. They lash out at us because they are high or because they are coming down and crashing. There's also mental illness, where they are not keenly aware of the harm and hurt they cause. Which ever one a Difficult Child is operating from does not make it any easier when we the parent are on the receiving end of their hurtfulness. We have to develop a skin of armor to deflect what they can throw at us. We have to do what we can to guard our hearts as to not let what they say or do pierce them. [/QUOTE]
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OMG, his plan is to return here...
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