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OMG - things are bad - and apparently I am the one to blame
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 320756" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I'm going to be blunt, because in my humble opinion you are in a complete time crunch. </p><p></p><p>I had this happen with M, as well. The issue, as they saw it, was that M is living with them and they were treating him as an inpatient program with my permission to treat as needed. They either needed me to totally trust them and allow them to make changes as needed - which included changing privileges with no advance notice - or to take him back; or put him on the street regardless of my concerns.</p><p></p><p>I'm not saying that I gave in to them. I kept trying to maintain my control. And I was cut off and M ended up on the street. Your son needs a lot of help, and he is 19 years old. It seems like he is pushing back against you. Is it really such a terrible place? Is there a better place? Is no place better than where he is? If he moves someplace better, how long will it take him to get with the program? You need to stop and think this out rationally right this very second. </p><p></p><p>The way I see it, they have given you notice at this point - "step back or they are turning him loose". You're in a different state under a different jurisdiction, and if he says he's done with you it seems likely that a court will at the very least consider his application for emancipation. During the time the court is considering it, who knows where he will end up? I guarantee you that they will testify on his behalf as experts and successfully paint you as an unhinged interfering mom.</p><p></p><p>So, are you going to let them do whatever they want to do until things settle down and <em>maybe</em> you find a better situation, or are you going to fight them? Because I guarantee you they have some other kid whose mom won't interfere at least for a while and will pay full price for the privilege. I imagine there's a waiting list.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you are going through this. I know where you are at, all too well. I hope that you will find some peace for you and for Matt.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 320756, member: 99"] I'm going to be blunt, because in my humble opinion you are in a complete time crunch. I had this happen with M, as well. The issue, as they saw it, was that M is living with them and they were treating him as an inpatient program with my permission to treat as needed. They either needed me to totally trust them and allow them to make changes as needed - which included changing privileges with no advance notice - or to take him back; or put him on the street regardless of my concerns. I'm not saying that I gave in to them. I kept trying to maintain my control. And I was cut off and M ended up on the street. Your son needs a lot of help, and he is 19 years old. It seems like he is pushing back against you. Is it really such a terrible place? Is there a better place? Is no place better than where he is? If he moves someplace better, how long will it take him to get with the program? You need to stop and think this out rationally right this very second. The way I see it, they have given you notice at this point - "step back or they are turning him loose". You're in a different state under a different jurisdiction, and if he says he's done with you it seems likely that a court will at the very least consider his application for emancipation. During the time the court is considering it, who knows where he will end up? I guarantee you that they will testify on his behalf as experts and successfully paint you as an unhinged interfering mom. So, are you going to let them do whatever they want to do until things settle down and [I]maybe[/I] you find a better situation, or are you going to fight them? Because I guarantee you they have some other kid whose mom won't interfere at least for a while and will pay full price for the privilege. I imagine there's a waiting list. I'm sorry you are going through this. I know where you are at, all too well. I hope that you will find some peace for you and for Matt. [/QUOTE]
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OMG - things are bad - and apparently I am the one to blame
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