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OMG - things are bad - and apparently I am the one to blame
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 320777" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>in my humble opinion, Steely, those words speak volumes. Matt is 19. And while I understand that he has a lot of issues, I also know that at some point, he needs to be in control of his own treatment. He needs to care as much about getting better as you do. Until you "let go" control, he will not be able to "make things happen" for himself. It took a lot for me to get this. </p><p></p><p>For so long, I was in control of Tripp's 'treatment'. I chose the dr's. I made the appts. I drug him a long. I discussed medications. I made sure he took them. I fought for his education much harder than he did. I called the state dept. and made a lot of noise. I told him what to do and how to do it. I told the dr's what I wanted. I told the school how to teach him. And in the end, none of it did him a bit of good. </p><p></p><p>It was only after I let go and watched him fall and wallow in the mess he made of his life for while that he picked himself up and started taking care of his own problems. And it was hard. It still is. I watch his life and want to step in and take control. But I know if I do I will undo all the good things he has learned to do for himself. He is growing. It is slow and painful to watch because he still makes really irrational choices at times. But, I bite my tongue and let him face his consequences. At 19 he spent 23 days in the county jail with no communication from me. He had 4 abscessed teeth at the time that needed treatment. He was coming cold turkey off of a lot of pysch medications and street drugs (remember you xanax withdrawals). I worried every day about what was happening to him, but I knew at the time I had to let go if he was ever going to make the changes necessary to make his life better. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry this is happening. I wish I could tell you a way to fix it. But, I know sometimes there is no fixing other people's lives.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 320777, member: 1436"] in my humble opinion, Steely, those words speak volumes. Matt is 19. And while I understand that he has a lot of issues, I also know that at some point, he needs to be in control of his own treatment. He needs to care as much about getting better as you do. Until you "let go" control, he will not be able to "make things happen" for himself. It took a lot for me to get this. For so long, I was in control of Tripp's 'treatment'. I chose the dr's. I made the appts. I drug him a long. I discussed medications. I made sure he took them. I fought for his education much harder than he did. I called the state dept. and made a lot of noise. I told him what to do and how to do it. I told the dr's what I wanted. I told the school how to teach him. And in the end, none of it did him a bit of good. It was only after I let go and watched him fall and wallow in the mess he made of his life for while that he picked himself up and started taking care of his own problems. And it was hard. It still is. I watch his life and want to step in and take control. But I know if I do I will undo all the good things he has learned to do for himself. He is growing. It is slow and painful to watch because he still makes really irrational choices at times. But, I bite my tongue and let him face his consequences. At 19 he spent 23 days in the county jail with no communication from me. He had 4 abscessed teeth at the time that needed treatment. He was coming cold turkey off of a lot of pysch medications and street drugs (remember you xanax withdrawals). I worried every day about what was happening to him, but I knew at the time I had to let go if he was ever going to make the changes necessary to make his life better. I'm sorry this is happening. I wish I could tell you a way to fix it. But, I know sometimes there is no fixing other people's lives. [/QUOTE]
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OMG - things are bad - and apparently I am the one to blame
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