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OMG - things are bad - and apparently I am the one to blame
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<blockquote data-quote="emotionallybankrupt" data-source="post: 320782" data-attributes="member: 8226"><p>Steely--I've never been in any situation similar to yours, but in the spirit of brainstorming, it sounds to me like what you may need most is to buy some time. If it's true that at this moment you have no better alternative than the current placement, I think I would write a letter, something to the effect that you love your son very much and are very sorry (choke) if you have said or done anything to offend, and would ask that it please not be held against Matt. Maybe say you know it's in Matt's best interests at this time to remain in the program and ask what you can do to turn this situation around to make it possible for him to stay. I'd try to say in several different ways how much you love your son and that you did not realize you were doing anything to jeopardize his placement. That you will do whatever is necessary to help, and ask that they please just know that past communication was in the context of being a worried mother who wants the best for him.</p><p> </p><p>Then, if it turns sour, you have the letter to remind yourself that you tried, as well as to prove to Matt or anybody else that you tried, if that ever became necessary.</p><p> </p><p>Obviously, if you find a better placement, then go for it, but in the meanwhile it sounds like time is your friend. I think you need it in order to get clear about your choices. I think letters are always good so nobody can disagree about what you said. I wouldn't send it certified, though, I think that could be perceived as threatening, like you are gathering documentation (not that you aren't, I just wouldn't be obvious about it). Maybe fax and follow with phone call just to be sure they got it? (And don't fax machines show the record of successful transmission anyway?)</p><p> </p><p>No, you're not a bad mom. You're a worried mom. That's love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="emotionallybankrupt, post: 320782, member: 8226"] Steely--I've never been in any situation similar to yours, but in the spirit of brainstorming, it sounds to me like what you may need most is to buy some time. If it's true that at this moment you have no better alternative than the current placement, I think I would write a letter, something to the effect that you love your son very much and are very sorry (choke) if you have said or done anything to offend, and would ask that it please not be held against Matt. Maybe say you know it's in Matt's best interests at this time to remain in the program and ask what you can do to turn this situation around to make it possible for him to stay. I'd try to say in several different ways how much you love your son and that you did not realize you were doing anything to jeopardize his placement. That you will do whatever is necessary to help, and ask that they please just know that past communication was in the context of being a worried mother who wants the best for him. Then, if it turns sour, you have the letter to remind yourself that you tried, as well as to prove to Matt or anybody else that you tried, if that ever became necessary. Obviously, if you find a better placement, then go for it, but in the meanwhile it sounds like time is your friend. I think you need it in order to get clear about your choices. I think letters are always good so nobody can disagree about what you said. I wouldn't send it certified, though, I think that could be perceived as threatening, like you are gathering documentation (not that you aren't, I just wouldn't be obvious about it). Maybe fax and follow with phone call just to be sure they got it? (And don't fax machines show the record of successful transmission anyway?) No, you're not a bad mom. You're a worried mom. That's love. [/QUOTE]
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OMG - things are bad - and apparently I am the one to blame
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