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Substance Abuse
On the fence
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 747407" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Hi- I know how difficult this is. Have you spent time learning about detachment- you can still love and support someone without giving them advice, enabling them or even interacting with them. There have been several times I've had to go no contact with my daughter. As a therapist once told me- it doesn't mean no contact forever, just until you're in a better place to be able to maintain your own peace of mind when dealing with the other person. When I have gone no contact I have found that a little time and space give me objectivity about the situation, as well as a break from dealing with the constant insanity. It was difficult for me in the beginning because I tend to be an all or nothing person, no shades of gray. Either you're in my life 100% or you're out forever. I have had to learn to live at a different pace, accepting what happens as what needs to happen in this moment rather than trying to control everything. Once you are able to put your focus and energy into yourself and your health and peace of mind I think it will be easier for you to deal with your son, or not deal with him as needed. When you are centered his unkind words and actions will not affect you as much and when you stop reacting, he will likely stop the behaviors. It's a long and difficult road. Sending peace to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 747407, member: 11235"] Hi- I know how difficult this is. Have you spent time learning about detachment- you can still love and support someone without giving them advice, enabling them or even interacting with them. There have been several times I've had to go no contact with my daughter. As a therapist once told me- it doesn't mean no contact forever, just until you're in a better place to be able to maintain your own peace of mind when dealing with the other person. When I have gone no contact I have found that a little time and space give me objectivity about the situation, as well as a break from dealing with the constant insanity. It was difficult for me in the beginning because I tend to be an all or nothing person, no shades of gray. Either you're in my life 100% or you're out forever. I have had to learn to live at a different pace, accepting what happens as what needs to happen in this moment rather than trying to control everything. Once you are able to put your focus and energy into yourself and your health and peace of mind I think it will be easier for you to deal with your son, or not deal with him as needed. When you are centered his unkind words and actions will not affect you as much and when you stop reacting, he will likely stop the behaviors. It's a long and difficult road. Sending peace to you. [/QUOTE]
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