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General Parenting
Once again...Feeling like a bad parent
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 594650" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Dixie?</p><p>It depends. On... what the dxes are, on where the stuff came from in the first place, on what the history of the dynamics has been. </p><p>It also depends on whether the reasons for getting to that point are reasonable and logical... and on whether difficult child understands exactly what steps lead to getting what privileges etc.</p><p> </p><p>WE may think difficult child knows all this. In fact "we" used to think our difficult child understood a whole lot of things that... it turns out, he doesn't. He "missed" a whole lot of life-skills learning, for very valid reasons. Treating him like a spoiled brat would have been the worst thing we could have done... because he was NOT a spoiled brat. </p><p> </p><p>It's vital to know the dxes for other reasons, too. Like... technology is a really touchy subject around me. As far as I'm concerned, MOST kids have WAY too much access to technology. I don't believe kids need ipads and ipods and smart-phones and facebook and on-line gaming and all that other stuff. To me it gets in the way of learning real-life critical skills. (and I'm not a Ludite... I'm a tech-head) So, in our family, there never was a fight over technology - we never brought it into their lives until they were able to handle it (which means they still don't have most of it). BUT... if they already have it, you can't just yank it around at will. Technology is HIGHLY addictive... and if YOU as a parent allowed that addiction to happen... then you have to find a better way to manage it than just using "loss of technology" as a punishment. </p><p> </p><p>Of course... just my opinion, like usual.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 594650, member: 11791"] Dixie? It depends. On... what the dxes are, on where the stuff came from in the first place, on what the history of the dynamics has been. It also depends on whether the reasons for getting to that point are reasonable and logical... and on whether difficult child understands exactly what steps lead to getting what privileges etc. WE may think difficult child knows all this. In fact "we" used to think our difficult child understood a whole lot of things that... it turns out, he doesn't. He "missed" a whole lot of life-skills learning, for very valid reasons. Treating him like a spoiled brat would have been the worst thing we could have done... because he was NOT a spoiled brat. It's vital to know the dxes for other reasons, too. Like... technology is a really touchy subject around me. As far as I'm concerned, MOST kids have WAY too much access to technology. I don't believe kids need ipads and ipods and smart-phones and facebook and on-line gaming and all that other stuff. To me it gets in the way of learning real-life critical skills. (and I'm not a Ludite... I'm a tech-head) So, in our family, there never was a fight over technology - we never brought it into their lives until they were able to handle it (which means they still don't have most of it). BUT... if they already have it, you can't just yank it around at will. Technology is HIGHLY addictive... and if YOU as a parent allowed that addiction to happen... then you have to find a better way to manage it than just using "loss of technology" as a punishment. Of course... just my opinion, like usual. [/QUOTE]
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