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General Parenting
Once again...Feeling like a bad parent
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 594664" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Few years ago I had some problems with my back. at the same time we had a new puppy. Large breed. I decided to train him using treats as rewards because my back was giving me grief if I played with him in the way he most liked. That darn dog stubbornly refused to consider treats a reward. I gave him sausage, meat balls, dog treats, dried meat, dried liver, cheese, raw meat, pastries... You name it, I tried rewarding him with that treat. And he didn't consider them rewards and wasn't motivated to do anything for those. His training was far behind and in the end I had no other option than find a way to play with him that didn't hurt my back. And treat my back back to shape. </p><p></p><p>My point is: you can't decide what motivates other creature, be it dog or other human being. You can't decide what rewards they value or what punishments they care or understand about. You can't decide what style of parenting is effective with certain child. You can't even decide, that child has to obey and respect the parents because they are the parents. if the kid is not working with the method you prefer, you can't make them. You can't make them be motivated by the method you choose or understand the way you want to teach. They are motivated and they learn or they don't. It is same thing as with foreign language. You either understand or you don't. If they or you don't, it usually doesn't make a difference how much more volume you use. Often you simply have to use different methods. I could scream my head off to you with my own language and you likely wouldn't understand a thing. Me trying to shout even harder wouldn't help. Me changing to English would be much more helpful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 594664, member: 14557"] Few years ago I had some problems with my back. at the same time we had a new puppy. Large breed. I decided to train him using treats as rewards because my back was giving me grief if I played with him in the way he most liked. That darn dog stubbornly refused to consider treats a reward. I gave him sausage, meat balls, dog treats, dried meat, dried liver, cheese, raw meat, pastries... You name it, I tried rewarding him with that treat. And he didn't consider them rewards and wasn't motivated to do anything for those. His training was far behind and in the end I had no other option than find a way to play with him that didn't hurt my back. And treat my back back to shape. My point is: you can't decide what motivates other creature, be it dog or other human being. You can't decide what rewards they value or what punishments they care or understand about. You can't decide what style of parenting is effective with certain child. You can't even decide, that child has to obey and respect the parents because they are the parents. if the kid is not working with the method you prefer, you can't make them. You can't make them be motivated by the method you choose or understand the way you want to teach. They are motivated and they learn or they don't. It is same thing as with foreign language. You either understand or you don't. If they or you don't, it usually doesn't make a difference how much more volume you use. Often you simply have to use different methods. I could scream my head off to you with my own language and you likely wouldn't understand a thing. Me trying to shout even harder wouldn't help. Me changing to English would be much more helpful. [/QUOTE]
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Once again...Feeling like a bad parent
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