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Parent Emeritus
Once again he called and I answered...grhhhhh
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 631106" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Annie, I'm sorry. In AA and Al-Anon they talk about geographic cures and how they never work. New place, same people, same behavior = same insanity.</p><p></p><p>Having a crazy conversation like the one you had with difficult child makes us....crazy. We can't be logical and direct and common sensical when the other person is not at all.</p><p></p><p>There is just nothing to be said except: I'm sure you can figure it out. I wish you the best. I love you. Good luck, and let's stay in touch.</p><p></p><p>That is how I define being encouraging and supportive of my difficult child. I cannot fix his life. Tried. Didn't work. A million times.</p><p></p><p>I am just not going to stay in the same place with the same old circular conversations anymore. Because it makes me crazy. </p><p></p><p>We can be kind and supportive when we don't engage. </p><p></p><p>Write down some things you will say, Annie, the next time you decide to answer the phone when he calls. Keep the list taped by the phone and in your purse.</p><p></p><p>When he calls, and you decide to answer (it IS a decision), whip out that piece of paper, and do not give in to the temptation to say anything that isn't already written on that page. </p><p></p><p>Once I started doing that, things started to change with difficult child. I wasn't caught off guard. Warm hugs. I know how sad and hard it is. </p><p></p><p>We can only take care of us. That is the truth.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 631106, member: 17542"] Annie, I'm sorry. In AA and Al-Anon they talk about geographic cures and how they never work. New place, same people, same behavior = same insanity. Having a crazy conversation like the one you had with difficult child makes us....crazy. We can't be logical and direct and common sensical when the other person is not at all. There is just nothing to be said except: I'm sure you can figure it out. I wish you the best. I love you. Good luck, and let's stay in touch. That is how I define being encouraging and supportive of my difficult child. I cannot fix his life. Tried. Didn't work. A million times. I am just not going to stay in the same place with the same old circular conversations anymore. Because it makes me crazy. We can be kind and supportive when we don't engage. Write down some things you will say, Annie, the next time you decide to answer the phone when he calls. Keep the list taped by the phone and in your purse. When he calls, and you decide to answer (it IS a decision), whip out that piece of paper, and do not give in to the temptation to say anything that isn't already written on that page. Once I started doing that, things started to change with difficult child. I wasn't caught off guard. Warm hugs. I know how sad and hard it is. We can only take care of us. That is the truth. [/QUOTE]
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Once again he called and I answered...grhhhhh
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