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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
One of us is nuts, is it him or me (or both).
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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 13032" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>3 months is way to soon to tell, plus he's only 17. My son will be 20 in March and has also made many bad decisions and had a few relapses in the 1 1/2 years it has been since we started dealing with his addiction. He was just 18 when we discovered his hugest problem and looking back I never would have thought then that he would pull through as well as he is doing right now. Dont' get me wrong, I don't let my guard down. I prepare myself that it could change at any time, but I keep hope that he will continue in the direction he is going.</p><p>The biggest alanon motto I needed to really get used to was "progress, not perfection" As soon as my difficult child stared doing anything good in the beginning I expected perfection, and I soon learned it was going to take much longe then I had originally thought. If you expect perfection you are in for many letdowns. Continue to support your son when he is making good decisions, and learn how to react to the bad ones without too much negative emotion. My difficult child was a master manipulater, but he has learned that it no longer works, but it took a long time for him to figure that out. The support of this board and alanon taught me what I needed to do for myself, that in turn helped him. </p><p>People used to say when we first found out about his addiction that he had his age on his side and I now believe that is true. He is young enough and has many years ahead of him to figure this all out, as does your son. </p><p></p><p>You have come so far from when you first came here. You have gone from a mother who who didn't know how to say no, to someone who is so much stronger and seems to have learned that your strength is the best gift you can give your son<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 13032, member: 2442"] 3 months is way to soon to tell, plus he's only 17. My son will be 20 in March and has also made many bad decisions and had a few relapses in the 1 1/2 years it has been since we started dealing with his addiction. He was just 18 when we discovered his hugest problem and looking back I never would have thought then that he would pull through as well as he is doing right now. Dont' get me wrong, I don't let my guard down. I prepare myself that it could change at any time, but I keep hope that he will continue in the direction he is going. The biggest alanon motto I needed to really get used to was "progress, not perfection" As soon as my difficult child stared doing anything good in the beginning I expected perfection, and I soon learned it was going to take much longe then I had originally thought. If you expect perfection you are in for many letdowns. Continue to support your son when he is making good decisions, and learn how to react to the bad ones without too much negative emotion. My difficult child was a master manipulater, but he has learned that it no longer works, but it took a long time for him to figure that out. The support of this board and alanon taught me what I needed to do for myself, that in turn helped him. People used to say when we first found out about his addiction that he had his age on his side and I now believe that is true. He is young enough and has many years ahead of him to figure this all out, as does your son. You have come so far from when you first came here. You have gone from a mother who who didn't know how to say no, to someone who is so much stronger and seems to have learned that your strength is the best gift you can give your son:) [/QUOTE]
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One of us is nuts, is it him or me (or both).
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