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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 400673" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>WOW! She has changed a lot. I was also thinking that he sounds like he is WELL on the road to becoming abusive, just from the spotless house ****. I am glad she sees this. I worry about this generation of young women because dating/partner/spousal abuse is so widely accepted among so many of them. I can remember the horror I felt when my 2nd roommate in the dorm told me that every relationship had times when the guy hit the girl, it was part of how you know he truly cares about you. If he hasn't hit you at least once then you are not a "committed" couple. </p><p> </p><p>I hope that Nichole can reach him and he can learn. She might find a consult iwth the DV center to be helpful. I know here that type/level of demand and put downs is considered verbally abusive and down that abuse road toward physical. He really might benefit from a men's group where he can really learn WHY this isn't OK and how to become more secure as a person so he doesn't HAVE to feel like he has to control her every move.</p><p> </p><p>The angle that this is what Aubrey will look for in a man if this continues at all is one that they BOTH need to think long and hard about. It might get through to him, or he might think it is just the "job" of the female and not have a problem with it - if that is the case then the problem is much more serious. Has Nichole looked at this from the viewpoint of teaching Aubrey what to look for in a life partner? I know seeing it in that light led me to make personal changes and push husband to make them also.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 400673, member: 1233"] WOW! She has changed a lot. I was also thinking that he sounds like he is WELL on the road to becoming abusive, just from the spotless house ****. I am glad she sees this. I worry about this generation of young women because dating/partner/spousal abuse is so widely accepted among so many of them. I can remember the horror I felt when my 2nd roommate in the dorm told me that every relationship had times when the guy hit the girl, it was part of how you know he truly cares about you. If he hasn't hit you at least once then you are not a "committed" couple. I hope that Nichole can reach him and he can learn. She might find a consult iwth the DV center to be helpful. I know here that type/level of demand and put downs is considered verbally abusive and down that abuse road toward physical. He really might benefit from a men's group where he can really learn WHY this isn't OK and how to become more secure as a person so he doesn't HAVE to feel like he has to control her every move. The angle that this is what Aubrey will look for in a man if this continues at all is one that they BOTH need to think long and hard about. It might get through to him, or he might think it is just the "job" of the female and not have a problem with it - if that is the case then the problem is much more serious. Has Nichole looked at this from the viewpoint of teaching Aubrey what to look for in a life partner? I know seeing it in that light led me to make personal changes and push husband to make them also. [/QUOTE]
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