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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 176021" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It's especially hard to fake it, if you don't know you're taking it!</p><p></p><p>Those anger issues and transference from the father are a BIG worry. Unless you can get tat sorted one way or another, even if you have to get a court order to say that you are permitted to get the kids medically assessed and treated without him undermining it, then I think you need to do so. Those kids are going to grow up VERY resentful if they discover you've been "drugging" them. And if their dad finds out, he will use it against you, with the courts as well as with the kids.</p><p></p><p>medications aren't always the perfect answer, either. Although medications often can bring improvement, we used to have to manage in the past without medications. I know people who have grown up without taking the medications that could have helped, for ADHD - and now they're adult, they (and their doctors) see no point, because they've adapted to their condition in the absence of medications, medicating now would only rock the boat, so to speak.</p><p></p><p>I only mention this now, because if you need to stop the medications because of your ex and feel you're losing the chance for your kids to cope, as a result, it's not necessarily so. Without medications could be a lot more difficult, but I suspect your ex is a classic example of someone who has come through the process without medications. And who knows? Maybe if he'd had some ongoing support services and a different way of handling, he might have turned out differently (and not so nasty).</p><p></p><p>If you feel that medications are going to be your kids best (and maybe only) chance, I'd be looking into legal ways to get the right to have them more openly treated. If you have to leave it much longer, the kids will be too old for you to have much chance of getting them treated; they can refuse treatment past a certain age (not sure exactly when).</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 176021, member: 1991"] It's especially hard to fake it, if you don't know you're taking it! Those anger issues and transference from the father are a BIG worry. Unless you can get tat sorted one way or another, even if you have to get a court order to say that you are permitted to get the kids medically assessed and treated without him undermining it, then I think you need to do so. Those kids are going to grow up VERY resentful if they discover you've been "drugging" them. And if their dad finds out, he will use it against you, with the courts as well as with the kids. medications aren't always the perfect answer, either. Although medications often can bring improvement, we used to have to manage in the past without medications. I know people who have grown up without taking the medications that could have helped, for ADHD - and now they're adult, they (and their doctors) see no point, because they've adapted to their condition in the absence of medications, medicating now would only rock the boat, so to speak. I only mention this now, because if you need to stop the medications because of your ex and feel you're losing the chance for your kids to cope, as a result, it's not necessarily so. Without medications could be a lot more difficult, but I suspect your ex is a classic example of someone who has come through the process without medications. And who knows? Maybe if he'd had some ongoing support services and a different way of handling, he might have turned out differently (and not so nasty). If you feel that medications are going to be your kids best (and maybe only) chance, I'd be looking into legal ways to get the right to have them more openly treated. If you have to leave it much longer, the kids will be too old for you to have much chance of getting them treated; they can refuse treatment past a certain age (not sure exactly when). Marg [/QUOTE]
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