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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 105496" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>This is very familiar territory for us. in my opinion your requirements are more than reasonable. I definitely would stick with the deadline unless there is full and cheerful compliance (or very nearly) without any nagging. I would recommend simply stating that you are no longer going to nag -- you will give her a reasonable amount of time to complete the expected tasks, and if not completed you will note that it was not done and review the record of compliance vs. non-compliance on Jan. 15th and act accordingly. Not sure if I would try to enforce a certain time to get up but I'd say that you're going to be up and have no intention of tiptoeing around; conversely you expect peace and quiet during normal sleeping hours. If she was to get a full-time second or third shift job then sleeping hours might be negotiable, but quiet during your sleep time is not negotiable.</p><p></p><p>We (wife and I) have been there done that on all of your complaints. Our difficult child has a long way to go yet but there has been a vast improvement these past few months. She has now not used in 9 1/2 months, a record, and is working full time and sleeping on a near-normal schedule (if 10+ hours a day is normal). She is supposed to do the laundry; she actually does about 2 or 3 loads a week (I usually run 3 or 4 loads on Saturday mornings to catch it up). She is paying rent (wife does the accounting and I suspect lets her slide a bit but that is NOMB). </p><p></p><p>Really the only major issue left is that she is very careless and slovenly, not in her person, but around the house -- leaves dishes, glasses, clothes, cosmetics, food, and especially cigarette butts everywhere. She never turns off a light or a TV set ever, frequently leaves the oven on, will not rinse dishes and place them in the dishwasher (which has been a standard expectation and which she has failed to do for the past 20 years, so I guess it ain't gonna change) and eats and sheds crumbs all over the place. She is constantly fixing herself something in the kitchen and leaves the microwave and counters splattered and utensils lying about dirty.</p><p></p><p>WHOA! Didn't mean to go off on a rant about our difficult child. I was going for a "there is light at the end of the tunnel" anecdote. Our J was as bad as what you describe at first this last time that she's been living at home but has been getting better and better.</p><p></p><p>Sending good support vibes your way!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 105496, member: 3485"] This is very familiar territory for us. in my opinion your requirements are more than reasonable. I definitely would stick with the deadline unless there is full and cheerful compliance (or very nearly) without any nagging. I would recommend simply stating that you are no longer going to nag -- you will give her a reasonable amount of time to complete the expected tasks, and if not completed you will note that it was not done and review the record of compliance vs. non-compliance on Jan. 15th and act accordingly. Not sure if I would try to enforce a certain time to get up but I'd say that you're going to be up and have no intention of tiptoeing around; conversely you expect peace and quiet during normal sleeping hours. If she was to get a full-time second or third shift job then sleeping hours might be negotiable, but quiet during your sleep time is not negotiable. We (wife and I) have been there done that on all of your complaints. Our difficult child has a long way to go yet but there has been a vast improvement these past few months. She has now not used in 9 1/2 months, a record, and is working full time and sleeping on a near-normal schedule (if 10+ hours a day is normal). She is supposed to do the laundry; she actually does about 2 or 3 loads a week (I usually run 3 or 4 loads on Saturday mornings to catch it up). She is paying rent (wife does the accounting and I suspect lets her slide a bit but that is NOMB). Really the only major issue left is that she is very careless and slovenly, not in her person, but around the house -- leaves dishes, glasses, clothes, cosmetics, food, and especially cigarette butts everywhere. She never turns off a light or a TV set ever, frequently leaves the oven on, will not rinse dishes and place them in the dishwasher (which has been a standard expectation and which she has failed to do for the past 20 years, so I guess it ain't gonna change) and eats and sheds crumbs all over the place. She is constantly fixing herself something in the kitchen and leaves the microwave and counters splattered and utensils lying about dirty. WHOA! Didn't mean to go off on a rant about our difficult child. I was going for a "there is light at the end of the tunnel" anecdote. Our J was as bad as what you describe at first this last time that she's been living at home but has been getting better and better. Sending good support vibes your way! [/QUOTE]
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