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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 687049" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>That is the question I ask myself everyday, sometimes more than once.</p><p></p><p>I cannot comprehend doing this to a dying mother. I was the one who had to try to make sense of it to my mother. In many was my sister was her favorite, the one she felt closest to. To be rejected was the cruelest of things. There is no perfect parent. </p><p></p><p>What I keep repeating to myself is this: How could she do this for eternity? I mean, allow my mother to go to her death with this rejection. To me, it is the height of cruelty. But I do not believe it is cruelty that drives my sister and your daughter, it is self-preservation, I believe. </p><p></p><p>I believe we shelter ourselves from our worst hurts because we believe at heart that we deserved them. She is protecting herself by blaming her father. But the thing is, she must confront her sense of self-blame, even though it was never deserved. Can she her whole life run from it? Forever finding new ways and new reasons to justify running from herself? </p><p></p><p>I feel compassion for her. It is harder to find for my sister. M my SO says that he fears that when my sister is very old she will become crazy with all of what she has done from her own cowardice and self-serving entitlement. The chickens will come home to roost so to speak.</p><p></p><p>I hope not. I remember her as a baby. I do not want her to suffer. You cannot run forever. Eventually it catches up. Is this the human condition?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 687049, member: 18958"] That is the question I ask myself everyday, sometimes more than once. I cannot comprehend doing this to a dying mother. I was the one who had to try to make sense of it to my mother. In many was my sister was her favorite, the one she felt closest to. To be rejected was the cruelest of things. There is no perfect parent. What I keep repeating to myself is this: How could she do this for eternity? I mean, allow my mother to go to her death with this rejection. To me, it is the height of cruelty. But I do not believe it is cruelty that drives my sister and your daughter, it is self-preservation, I believe. I believe we shelter ourselves from our worst hurts because we believe at heart that we deserved them. She is protecting herself by blaming her father. But the thing is, she must confront her sense of self-blame, even though it was never deserved. Can she her whole life run from it? Forever finding new ways and new reasons to justify running from herself? I feel compassion for her. It is harder to find for my sister. M my SO says that he fears that when my sister is very old she will become crazy with all of what she has done from her own cowardice and self-serving entitlement. The chickens will come home to roost so to speak. I hope not. I remember her as a baby. I do not want her to suffer. You cannot run forever. Eventually it catches up. Is this the human condition? [/QUOTE]
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