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Our difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 342232" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>That tape is evidence and BOTH sides should be allowed to watch it. Privacy my foot! I agree with the others - get a lawyer and in the pre-trial conference demand that you see ALL evidence - tape and any incident reports written up by the bus driver as well as police reports.</p><p> </p><p>As for the comments of the other parents - How do they know any more than you as to exactly what happened? It was unprofessional for the newspaper to interview and quote any parent. However, in a small town, it doesn't take much for the papers to try to dramatize whatever to get their products sold.</p><p> </p><p>I was going to suggest writing (or have a third party write) a letter to the editor stating how sad it is that parents are ready to attack children over a situation they don't know the details of. After more thought, I think I would just let this one die on its own in the gossip pond. Their opinions mean nothing and will have no impact on the case. Adding fuel to that fire will just take away from the fuel you need to do justice for your son. Teach him how to properly defend your family - throwing stones back at the ignorant people is not the answer.</p><p> </p><p>Any charges brought about will give you the opportunity to explain what happened. You can not have a defense if you do not have the complaints. You can not explain or accept anything without reviewing all of the evidence. An attorney should have access to police reports, incident reports, and letters to the bus company and school and police regarding this event.</p><p> </p><p>Does you difficult child have a therapist? If you have a good working relationship, that person can also help you understand what may have happened after talking to your difficult child. I know with my difficult child, I would feel comfortable having difficult child talk to therapist and then the both of them talk to me. difficult child would not get as emotional talking with therapist as he would with me. I wouldn't expect therapist to give any legal advise, however, he or she is there to help difficult child get through this situation and can help find out how difficult child really feels about what has happened. They can get closer to the bottom of what happened and a better time line of how much pressure was put on difficult child before he acted.</p><p> </p><p>Above all, what Smallworld said - this is a matter of getting help not punishment! It is sad that as of now it does appear that he was the victim but because of his self-defense tactics he appears the aggressor and the public is treating him as such.</p><p> </p><p>In talking to your son about going through pre-trial and perhaps a trial, assure him that you will be using this to help him. I am sure he is having much frustration and fears over this and the words of those mean spirited parents are not kept from his peer's ears who will love to pick up on the latest adult conversations to justify more attacks on him. A good time to teach him what gossip really is - point out that those people were not on the bus - they did not see or hear what happened.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 342232, member: 5096"] That tape is evidence and BOTH sides should be allowed to watch it. Privacy my foot! I agree with the others - get a lawyer and in the pre-trial conference demand that you see ALL evidence - tape and any incident reports written up by the bus driver as well as police reports. As for the comments of the other parents - How do they know any more than you as to exactly what happened? It was unprofessional for the newspaper to interview and quote any parent. However, in a small town, it doesn't take much for the papers to try to dramatize whatever to get their products sold. I was going to suggest writing (or have a third party write) a letter to the editor stating how sad it is that parents are ready to attack children over a situation they don't know the details of. After more thought, I think I would just let this one die on its own in the gossip pond. Their opinions mean nothing and will have no impact on the case. Adding fuel to that fire will just take away from the fuel you need to do justice for your son. Teach him how to properly defend your family - throwing stones back at the ignorant people is not the answer. Any charges brought about will give you the opportunity to explain what happened. You can not have a defense if you do not have the complaints. You can not explain or accept anything without reviewing all of the evidence. An attorney should have access to police reports, incident reports, and letters to the bus company and school and police regarding this event. Does you difficult child have a therapist? If you have a good working relationship, that person can also help you understand what may have happened after talking to your difficult child. I know with my difficult child, I would feel comfortable having difficult child talk to therapist and then the both of them talk to me. difficult child would not get as emotional talking with therapist as he would with me. I wouldn't expect therapist to give any legal advise, however, he or she is there to help difficult child get through this situation and can help find out how difficult child really feels about what has happened. They can get closer to the bottom of what happened and a better time line of how much pressure was put on difficult child before he acted. Above all, what Smallworld said - this is a matter of getting help not punishment! It is sad that as of now it does appear that he was the victim but because of his self-defense tactics he appears the aggressor and the public is treating him as such. In talking to your son about going through pre-trial and perhaps a trial, assure him that you will be using this to help him. I am sure he is having much frustration and fears over this and the words of those mean spirited parents are not kept from his peer's ears who will love to pick up on the latest adult conversations to justify more attacks on him. A good time to teach him what gossip really is - point out that those people were not on the bus - they did not see or hear what happened. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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