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Our payment plan for difficult child and what to do about the computer
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 477359" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Never give the computer back. But don't tell him that. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>We raised his allowance (he was getting a miniscule amt b4, because when we tried to give him $20/wk or so, he'd blow it on online stuff and we hated to see it wasted, so we reduced it to $5. Now it is $7, to coincide with-the days of the wk). Every day, he has to do chores, or he doesn't earn that day's allowance. If he does something particularly good (A on a paper, extra help around the house) he gets an extra dollar, but no more for that day. Same if he mouths off--the dollar goes away.</p><p>He is nearly 15 but he still has very little concept of money, so we are keeping it simple. I know that some of you think this is childish, but considering how much he has blown on computer credits, we've got to keep the price down to teach him how much this whole thing adds up to, which means it's going to take months.</p><p>He figured out that if he sells his PS2 equip and games on Craiglist, he can speed up the process. But he refuses to go to "strangers" to cut grass, rake leaves, etc. That really cuts out a lot of income. Sigh.</p><p></p><p>We told him that we would only discuss getting the computer back AFTER every single penny has been paid back. This puts the responsibility completely on his shoulders. At that point, we'll sweat out the next step. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>He was surly and mean last night but he did everything he was told. That's because he wanted to talk about the computer so badly, that he did the pots and pans, took his shower, brushed his teeth, took the dirty dishes out of his room, all just to meet with-us about the discussion. I had to emphasize that we do it in that order to husband, because he doesn't understand how difficult child can stonewall for days and days. This is the only thing that works. Give to get.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 477359, member: 3419"] Never give the computer back. But don't tell him that. ;) We raised his allowance (he was getting a miniscule amt b4, because when we tried to give him $20/wk or so, he'd blow it on online stuff and we hated to see it wasted, so we reduced it to $5. Now it is $7, to coincide with-the days of the wk). Every day, he has to do chores, or he doesn't earn that day's allowance. If he does something particularly good (A on a paper, extra help around the house) he gets an extra dollar, but no more for that day. Same if he mouths off--the dollar goes away. He is nearly 15 but he still has very little concept of money, so we are keeping it simple. I know that some of you think this is childish, but considering how much he has blown on computer credits, we've got to keep the price down to teach him how much this whole thing adds up to, which means it's going to take months. He figured out that if he sells his PS2 equip and games on Craiglist, he can speed up the process. But he refuses to go to "strangers" to cut grass, rake leaves, etc. That really cuts out a lot of income. Sigh. We told him that we would only discuss getting the computer back AFTER every single penny has been paid back. This puts the responsibility completely on his shoulders. At that point, we'll sweat out the next step. :) He was surly and mean last night but he did everything he was told. That's because he wanted to talk about the computer so badly, that he did the pots and pans, took his shower, brushed his teeth, took the dirty dishes out of his room, all just to meet with-us about the discussion. I had to emphasize that we do it in that order to husband, because he doesn't understand how difficult child can stonewall for days and days. This is the only thing that works. Give to get. [/QUOTE]
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