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General Parenting
OUT OF CONTROL 15 y.o. with- ODD
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 48299" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>how could they steal from people they "love"? how could they lie and deceive people who love them. sometimes i feel like he uses "i love you" as an excuse and he doesn't really know what those words mean. he uses those three words to make himself feel better- like no matter what he does, evrything's o.k. again.</p><p></p><p>Hi Tara,</p><p>there is no understanding it if you are thinking of them as "normal." My 19 yr old bio dtr has been stealing from us and lieing since she was small. This is not the way she was raised, there is no "reason" for it except that she has mental health problems.</p><p></p><p>Still, you have to set boundaries, in fact with these kids structure and well defined boundaries are crucial. Your nephew is going to have no respect for you if you let him walk all over you and it isn't going to help him either. I worried about my dtr feeling abandoned and rejected too (she went to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) when she was 16) but the more I coddled her or treated her differently because of her problems the worse she was. Eventually, when she was 18 I had to make her leave our home--she had no respect for anyone's privacy, possessions, etc. and would do nothing to help herself. She is doing much better now that she has to--she is a survivor.</p><p></p><p>Have to go now--take care,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 48299, member: 3450"] how could they steal from people they "love"? how could they lie and deceive people who love them. sometimes i feel like he uses "i love you" as an excuse and he doesn't really know what those words mean. he uses those three words to make himself feel better- like no matter what he does, evrything's o.k. again. Hi Tara, there is no understanding it if you are thinking of them as "normal." My 19 yr old bio dtr has been stealing from us and lieing since she was small. This is not the way she was raised, there is no "reason" for it except that she has mental health problems. Still, you have to set boundaries, in fact with these kids structure and well defined boundaries are crucial. Your nephew is going to have no respect for you if you let him walk all over you and it isn't going to help him either. I worried about my dtr feeling abandoned and rejected too (she went to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) when she was 16) but the more I coddled her or treated her differently because of her problems the worse she was. Eventually, when she was 18 I had to make her leave our home--she had no respect for anyone's privacy, possessions, etc. and would do nothing to help herself. She is doing much better now that she has to--she is a survivor. Have to go now--take care, Jane [/QUOTE]
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OUT OF CONTROL 15 y.o. with- ODD
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