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General Parenting
OUT OF CONTROL 15 y.o. with- ODD
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 48442" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I also am not sure this child has the resources to MAKE good choices. He had so many bad years before he came to live with your brother. Unfortunately, the damage, from pre-natal/drugs to sexual abuse to lack of one caregiver to whatever genetic stuff he was born with...it puts our kids from foster care at a big disadvantage. Some are, so to speak, starting with two strikes on them. Your brother will always know he made his son's life better than it would have been, no matter what choices his son makes, or is ABLE to make. We never got much help from therapists either. I went to many due to my bipolar (I was forced to go in order to get medications, however never felt I got much help), and my son went, which was a bigger joke. Their advice didn't help, and they missed his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) completely. All your family an do is try, and not expect him to respond the way a child who has always been loved responds. Of course, as you can see on the board, most of the kids whose parents are here are biological so that's no guarantee either. However, our adopted kids, who lived in foster care, are bigger puzzles because we can't look on their history and say, "We have bipolar in the background" "well, mom drank a lot during pregnancy," etc. </p><p>If your nephew turns out to have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), traditional therapy won't help anyways. His history is a red flag. If it were me, I'd check that out. Take care.You're a loving aunt.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 48442, member: 1550"] I also am not sure this child has the resources to MAKE good choices. He had so many bad years before he came to live with your brother. Unfortunately, the damage, from pre-natal/drugs to sexual abuse to lack of one caregiver to whatever genetic stuff he was born with...it puts our kids from foster care at a big disadvantage. Some are, so to speak, starting with two strikes on them. Your brother will always know he made his son's life better than it would have been, no matter what choices his son makes, or is ABLE to make. We never got much help from therapists either. I went to many due to my bipolar (I was forced to go in order to get medications, however never felt I got much help), and my son went, which was a bigger joke. Their advice didn't help, and they missed his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) completely. All your family an do is try, and not expect him to respond the way a child who has always been loved responds. Of course, as you can see on the board, most of the kids whose parents are here are biological so that's no guarantee either. However, our adopted kids, who lived in foster care, are bigger puzzles because we can't look on their history and say, "We have bipolar in the background" "well, mom drank a lot during pregnancy," etc. If your nephew turns out to have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), traditional therapy won't help anyways. His history is a red flag. If it were me, I'd check that out. Take care.You're a loving aunt. [/QUOTE]
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